Page 50 of Greek Island Fling to Forever

‘Can we do this, Ben?’

‘We are doing it, aren’t we?’

His words smacked of denial. An attempt to avoid the one thing that neither of them seemed to want to talk about. Only they had to talk about it.

‘That’s not what I mean. You know it.’

He nodded. ‘I think the least we can do is part as friends.’

No. That would never work. Arianna took a breath, trying to steady herself. ‘Knowing you, Ben...it can’t ever be friendship. It’s always going to be a matter of wanting you. Loving you, and being loved by you.’

She could see the pain, blooming in his eyes. ‘That’s something we can’t do, Arianna.’

Then he must tell her why. Frame the reason into words for her, to give her something to hold onto.

‘Why not?’

Ben turned the corners of his mouth down, staring out to sea. ‘Emma...’

‘You still love her?’ If he did, then he should say it.

‘That’s not it, Arianna. I failed Emma and... I promised myself I’d do everything I could not to fail Jonas. That I’d be there for him, and protect him. The other day—it just reminded me that I can’t protect both of you. And Jonas is my child; he needs me...’

Yes. She knew that. Arianna swallowed down the impulse to tell him that she needed him too. ‘Do you think I could care for you if you weren’t such a good father to Jonas?’

He shook his head resignedly. ‘I don’t suppose so.’

It was make or break now. All that Arianna could feel was grief, because it seemed impossible that this wouldn’t break them apart.

‘Has it occurred to you that I don’t want you to protect me? I don’t need you to look after me; I just want you to love me. Give me a reason why I was the one that was saved and not Xander.’ The words came out in a rush of feeling and rather more honestly than Arianna had expected.

He looked at her blankly. Then suddenly his lip curled in an expression of incredulous frustration. ‘Surely you don’t need me to give you a reason, Arianna. If you’re so blind that you can’t see how important you are as a person...’ He shook his head.

Then she was blind. Before she’d met Ben, her work had been the only thing she could offer to justify her place in the world. She’d begun to see a little of her own worth by looking through his eyes. But now he was going to destroy all of that, by leaving her.

‘All I can see, Ben, is that you’re ripping us apart.’

* * *

He knew what he was doing. Ben had held out one fragile hope that talking about things would stop the inevitable. That was gone now.

‘You want to be part of that great experiment, do you? Staying together in the hope that we won’t tear each other to shreds?’

She pressed her lips together. Arianna knew just as well as he did that this was exactly what would happen. He was even more determined that he had to leave, now that she’d betrayed how little she thought of herself, because Arianna needed space to grow and thrive, unhampered by his constant need to protect her.

‘And you know exactly what’s going to happen, do you?’ She jutted her chin at him.

‘No. I just know that you deserve a lot better than anything I can give you.’

She looked at him, reproachful tears in her eyes. Then suddenly, as if she’d made a decision, she stood up.

‘The trouble with you is that you saved me once, and now you think it’s your job. And in case you were wondering, yes, I do find it infuriating.’ She stamped her foot, grimacing as her bare toes hit the wooden boards. ‘But you’re not going to make me watch you go. I’m going out.’

He knew what she was asking, and it came almost as a relief. ‘I’ll be gone by the time you get back.’

‘I’ll leave my car keys...’ One last morsel of concern that tugged painfully at his heart. He couldn’t accept it; it would weaken his resolve.

‘Don’t. I’d rather walk back to the hotel.’

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