Page 114 of Bad Wolf (Wild Men 4)

“Or what? You’ve never asked me this before.”

“We’ve never done this before.”

Lying in bed quietly together after sex. Talking. Holding on to each other like we’d sink otherwise and disappear.

“An old accident,” I mutter, my heartbeat slowly quieting. “When I was little.”

“I’m sorry. Must have been bad. Were you a—”

“My turn,” I cut in, desperate to change the topic. “I thought of a question. What, uh… What were you doing at the nursing home tonight?”

I hadn’t stopped to think about it much, with everything happening too fast for my overloaded mind, but now I’ve asked the question, I really wanna know.

“Mom bakes cakes for her friends. Has been since ever. And your mom is her friend, so…” A small shrug. “When I realized who her friend Becky was, I asked to deliver the cake myself.”

“What for?”

“I was hoping to find out more about you. To understand you.”

I stare at her. “And what did you find?”

“I found you,” she whispers.

I frown. “In the rain.”

“No, in here.” She taps my chest. “You’re the Rett I knew. And I won’t stop until I find all your missing pieces, because I want the whole of you.”

“I found you.”

“I want the whole of you.”

Her words stay with me long after we get up in the morning and go our separate ways, as I check my phone and find a nonsensical message from an enraged Seb and a terse one from Angel about a gang meeting, asking where the hell I am.

Then I come to the apartment to find it trashed, my mattress shoved to the floor, my few belongings smashed.

Guess Seb was looking for money. Which I don’t have. What a joke. Did he even stop to think I might not have anything left?

What a dick.

Disgusted, I start straightening things up, then sit down on the bare bed and close my eyes for a minute, gathering my damn wits. Last night was a dream, an illusion. It won’t happen again.

This is your life, Jarett. It chose you. You chose it. So face it.

Fucking own it.

I get up and tidy up the best I can. No use whining and wishing things were different. I promised to Mom, I swore, and…

“Let me take care of you,” Gigi says.

She smiles.

I’m losing my mind. Losing my perspective. The gang owns my ass now, and they’re suspicious of me already. They don’t need Spidey Sense to know my heart ain’t in the business. It’s no secret I’m there to look over Seb, and Angel doesn’t like that.

I wonder how Mav feels about it. What he and Angel have discussed regarding me.

Maybe Seb is right. Maybe he’s important in the gang, and doesn’t need me.

Then I take another look around the apartment and grit my teeth. Yeah, right. A guy who can’t keep a job, who’s either high or in a low and fucking desperate to score his next dose. I bet Angel and Mav count on him so much.

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