Page 68 of Into the Garden (Wildflowers 5)

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imagine that he even condoned it because he

recognized that my lover provided something for me

that he could never provide. I told myself Franklin

just wants me to be happy and he is willing to look the

other way if that means be happy. Perhaps it was only

foolish hope on as I have said, a way of rationalizing

my infidelity, but I let myself believe it.

"I want you to learn from this how important it

is to give yourself to a man you can truly love and

who can truly love you in all respects. Settling for

anything less will lead to lifelong unhappiness, deep frustration, and eventually disaster in one form or

another. Just look at me as an example.

"I was so reckless about my affair that I didn't

take the proper precautions. I think now that deep in

my heart I didn't want to. Yes, as horrible or as

shocking as that may sound to you, I wanted my

lover's child growing in my womb. Maybe it was my

way of confessing and if you are a really moral

person, even if you can get away with a sin, you will

have a great need to confess it. Eventually, you must.

Remember that, Cathy. Never fool yourself into

believing you can escape your own conscience. It's a

voice that dies only when you die, and you will hear it

in your sleep as long as you live."

I paused because my throat had tightened, and I

looked at Misty who was lying there so still, listening,

her eyes fixed on the wall, her face full of

anticipation. She realized I had stopped and turned to

me. We stared at each other a moment.

"Don't even think it," she warned. "It's not a sin;

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