Page 62 of Not Broken (Not Broken 1)

Mom came over to join us. “The place is looking great.”

“Thanks. Calida’s been working on it.”

“How are things going with you two?”

I took a drink from the can. “I’m pretty sure we’re over. Macy will love giving me a big ‘I told you so.’”

“Son, you knew it wasn’t going to be an easy relationship. You can’t just cut and run because things might be hard,” Dad said.

“Jesus! Why does everyone fucking assume I’m the one in the wrong?” I’d never snapped at my parents like that, but it pissed me off that they, and Macy, wanted to put all the issues on me. The look I received from my father had me apologizing in an instant.

“Malcolm, I’m sure that’s not what your dad meant. But, at the same time, you have to admit you don’t have a great track record with relationships.”

“Yeah, well this is different. I was never in love with those other women. They were just...I wasn’t in love with them.”

“All right, fair enough,” Dad conceded.

I took another drink, knowing I needed to bite the bullet and tell them. At least some of it. Maybe they could help me figure out if I should keep trying, or just step back into the friend zone. “She’s having panic attacks.”

“Well, that’s not all that uncommon considering what she went through. This is just an educated guess, but I would say Calida most likely has an acute case of PTSD.”

Shit! I really missed, rather ignored, all the things that should have been blatantly obvious. I pressed my fingers to my temple and massaged the throbbing ache. At the same time, Dad never brought this possibility up before when we’d talked. He’d probably been under the same impression I’d been; that she was still recovering, but doing okay since she was in therapy.

I lowered my head as the vivid recollection came back to me. I’d never been so scared or lost as I was watching her fall apart because of something I’d said. It was a surreal moment and one I’d unfortunately repeated a week later.

“I triggered two of them.” I shamefully admitted. “At least that I know of, because they happened in front of me.”

Mom walked around

the island, coming to stand beside me, and started rubbing my back. “Sweetie, I’m sure it wasn’t you directly.”

“Oh, no, it was. Both times we were having a disagreement about us. She said some things, I said some things...needless to say, it wasn’t pretty.”

“Is that why you had a late night? Dealing with one of her attacks?”

I took another sip of my drink as I contemplated how much to tell them. Guilt had already started to creep in from letting them know about the panic attacks she’d been hiding.

“Yeah, something like that.”

I leaned against the island. Mom covered my hand with hers. “Honey, what happened?”

Looking from her to dad, I let out a breath. “Stress relief.”

Chapter 29

Calida

Shawn chewed on his toy car, continuously trying to share it with me. We sat on the front steps watching the Wrecker go about his task. The loud pop of the tow truck crank made us both jump. With a low rumble, it came to life, slowly pulling one of Seth’s destroyed cars onto its bed. The jolt made the one sideview mirror that was barely hanging on fall to the ground.

I picked up my coffee mug, turning my head to keep it out of Shawn’s reach, before taking a sip. He started fussing, trying to get ahold of the mug.

“Sorry, buddy, the caffeine will stunt your growth.”

I handed him his juice filled sippy cup, which he eagerly took. He leaned back against me, happily kicking his feet as he drank the watered down OJ. I ran my fingers through his dark, silky hair, moving the longer strands out of his face.

“Think it’s time for a haircut.” My hand went to my own hair. My bangs had grown out, the sides now hung mid-ear, and I found myself annoyed at having to constantly smooth it back. It was in a shabby state these days. “For us both, I think.”

Dorian pulled into the driveway just as the Wrecker put the chains on the F150 to pull it.

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