Page 99 of Bending Under Pressure

“I can and I do. I haven’t forgiven you, and I don’t believe things are magically okay with you and Cam.”

“Are y’all going to argue or visit with me?”

I swivel to see Haley standing in the hallway. It’s a relief to see her again. She’s wearing that tank top from last night and I see a gash along her chest where her seat belt must have cut into her. My issues with Jess are forgotten as Haley turns toward her room. She’s walking so slowly, I think Mrs. Elsie’s husband walks faster and he can be slow.

“How are you feeling, Hales?” I ask.

“Terrible.” She eases herself into bed, sitting up against the headboard. I climb in to sit next to her in the middle while Jess follows to sit on the other side.

“Give me an update.”

Haley tilts her head back and closes her eyes. Jess is the one who answers me. “An officer stopped by this morning to give her a speeding ticket, which included careless and reckless driving and crossing the yellow line. She’s been grouchy all morning and hasn’t been talking much because she doesn’t feel well.”

“So, you want to lie around and be lazy all day?” I ask her.

“There isn’t another option,” Haley answers.

“Sounds perfect.”

We sit there in relative silence for a while. Jess eventually goes to see Cam. Haley falls asleep on and off, but I don’t care. Being here with her is the best I could ask for. Since we haven’t been talking much, I observe her. Her breathing seems controlled and she whimpers in her sleep if she moves the wrong way.

“Keelan?” Rita is standing in the doorway. Her mask is gone, but she’s clearly still sick. “I didn’t know you were here.”

“I got here awhile ago. Is that okay? I just wanted to be with her,” I finish with a glance at a sleeping Haley.

“Yeah, that’s okay. I’m going to fix us lunch. Do you want something as well?”

“Sure. Do you need some help?” I offer.

She surprises me when she nods and waves her hand for me to join her. I carefully leave Haley’s bed and room to follow her into the kitchen. Lunch is going to be simple sandwiches. We’re quiet at first, but then Rita breaks the silence.

“Walter filled me in on what happened at the wedding.” She pauses. “Do you...do you think Haley wrecked on purpose?”

“What? No. She said there was a deer.”

“I know she said that, but she was also going entirely too fast. I don’t want to think my daughter would do that, Keelan. This stuff with her dad has her turned inside out and for the life of me, I can’t figure out why she would do something so stupid. As far as I know of, she’s a cautious, safe driver. I don’t know if this is some way for her to get her father’s attention. I thought you would know more about her state of mind than I would since you were with her.”

Guilt flares up within me again. “I’m not sure why she chose speeding,” I lie, “but I think she was hoping it would have the same effect as when she goes to the courts. She was upset, Mrs. Rita, but I think she just needed something to make her stop thinking about what happened. She seemed more resolved that he wasn’t going to change than how to make him be her dad again.” I don’t really know that for sure because Haley didn’t say a word on the way home, but I don’t think she would ever wreck on purpose.

Her mom seems to accept this. “Thank you, Keelan.”

For some reason, I feel worse, even though I completely believe what I said. Maybe because it’s my fault Haley is in the predicament she’s in. Yes, I didn’t make her speed, but she wouldn’t have if I hadn’t given her the idea to start with. If not for that, she would’ve been at the courts playing out her frustrations.

What I need to feel better about this entire weekend is Haley in my arms. We’re going to figure out a way for me to hold her after lunch. Maybe then I’ll be able to forget about my birth parents and my guilt.

My entire body aches. My ribs hurt, my head hurts, and my arm hurts. I’ve been uncomfortable all day, even in my sleep. At least Keelan is here with me. After we ate sandwiches for lunch, he insisted on sitting so he was behind me. His legs are on either side of mine and I’ve been leaning against his chest. His knuckles have been grazing along my right arm, up and down in a slow, lazy motion.

“You’re still here?” I’ve just woken up from another nap. Even though he’d have to wake me in order to leave, I’m still surprised he hasn’t left yet. He’s been here all day.

“Are you trying to get rid of me?

” he asks with a hint of laughter in his voice.

“No, but aren’t you bored?” He must be. I’ve been sleeping more than I’ve been awake and when I have been awake, I haven’t been very talkative.

“I’d rather be here than at home,” he answers.

“Why? What happened?”

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