Page 33 of Bending Under Pressure

“You’re redeemed,” I whisper.

Keelan laughs. “Good. I’ll text you.”

With that, I get into my car and head home. The good, high feeling Keelan left me with disappears when I walk into the kitchen. Mom doesn’t waste a moment.

“Why didn’t you tell me your father contacted you?”

“I didn’t realize you needed to know. I’ve never told you before.” I plop down at the table and start making my plate.

“I thought after what happened, you would. It’s hard to know what’s going on with you when you won’t talk to me, Haley.”

“You don’t exactly make it easy, Mom,” I snap. God, she all of a sudden wants me to tell her my every move? Is she serious? Even now, she won’t talk just to me. She’s having what I think should be a conversation between the two of us in front of Walter. I push my plate away from me and stand. “I’m not hungry anymore. I’m going to shower and go to bed.”

“Haley, we need to talk about this.”

“Talk about what?” I shout as I whirl around. “He texted me. I didn’t tell him to come. In fact, I didn’t even ask you to come! I shouldn’t have to tell you when Dad texts me.

I wanted to tell you, but I felt bad because part of me wanted him to come and it didn’t feel fair to you. I didn’t say anything because I thought you would be upset and now you’re upset because I didn’t tell you. It’s impossible to make you happy unless my name is Walter!”

I turn on my heels and make a run for my room, locking the door behind me. Why is it so hard to get along with my mom?

Natalie: Can I come to your game tomorrow then?

I’m such a freaking idiot.

An hour before I’m supposed to meet with Natalie, I text her to cancel. I’m tired, I have homework to do, and honestly, I don’t want to go. Maybe I’m conveniently procrastinating, too. And now, she’s sent me that message. How weird is it that she knows tomorrow is a home game for me? Is she following my football schedule?

Ugh!

I hate this.

Me: Sure.

“Shouldn’t you be getting dressed to meet Natalie?” Cam says as he enters my room, sitting down in his usual seat.

“I canceled, and now, she’s coming to the game tomorrow.” The pressure I always carry around gains about a hundred pounds. There’s pressure to be a good kid for my parents. Pressure to do well in school. Pressure to excel on the field, so I can hopefully get a football scholarship. And now, I have the pleasure of adding the pressure to give Natalie a chance, to show her I’m just fine without her, and to prove myself. I don’t even know why I feel like I have to prove myself, and my family, to her, but the pressure to do it is there.

What if I crack and break under pressure? I feel like I already am.

Frustrated, I run my hand over my head.

“That’s cool,” Cam says, ignoring my distress. “Why did you cancel?”

“I have homework,” I reply simply, even throwing in a shrug for good measure.

Cam laughs. “Good enough, I guess.” He clears his throat and rubs his knuckles over the five o’clock stubble on his cheek. The dude can grow a beard like no one’s business, but Jess doesn’t like it, so he keeps his face clean-shaven. He’s nervous about something. He always rubs his knuckles along his jaw.

“What’s up?” I ask, giving him an opening.

“Jess is ready.”

I crinkle my brow. “Ready for what?”

Cameron stares at me like I should already know. When I raise my brows at him, he sighs. “For sex. She wanted to wait, remember?” I nod. Since they started dating, from what Cam has told me, Jess has been adamant about not having sex until she felt ready. Two years have passed, and it looks like she’s ready. “Well, we’ve hit all the bases except home, obviously, and she said her parents will be gone next weekend on a second honeymoon or something, so she wants to do it then.”

“And you’re nervous?” I laugh. I can’t help it. Rarely does Cam get actual nerves that make him worry about something. He’s too laid back. It’s good to know that there is something in this world to make him squirm.

He narrows his eyes, picks up a nearby shoe, and throws it, hitting me square in the chest. “It’s not freaking funny, Keelan! Just because you lost your virginity last year to some stupid senior doesn’t mean you can laugh at the fact that I’m scared as hell. This is Jess we’re talking about!” Cam crosses his arms over his chest, pissed off now.

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