Page 71 of Without a Doubt

“Here, the floor, or the bed?”

“Mmm, you pick.”

I picked the floor. As my hands move over her soft, beautiful skin, I can't help but be grateful we're back to normal. Hopefully, we can stay here for a long, long time. Nights like these with Eva, where we hang out, laugh, and just be together, they ground me. They remind me of what I love about her and why I love being with her.

Me realizing I love her doesn't come as a shock. It doesn't even make me pause for a moment. It feels too right to do that. I want to tell her, to whisper it between kisses, but I don't. I'll tell her, but not quite yet.

MIDTERMS ARE OVER, we all did really well, and now, we have Friday through Tuesday off. Tonight, it's only Catherine and me. We've been so busy this week, we need to play catch up. We're currently trying to figure out what we want to do.

“There's a couple of parties going on. We haven't been to a party in forever.” Catherine frowns. “We're already becoming old, boring people and we're not even out of college yet.”

“No way am I going to a party.” Not after this past weekend.

“Why not?”

“Do you remember that guy I slept with freshman year? He thought my name was Catherine because—”

“Yes! I remember! He was hot and you went on and on about how good he was in bed.”

I glare at her. “He's Emerson's brother.”

Her jaw drops and her eyes widen. “No way.”

“Yeah, I found out when we had a family dinner this past weekend. Luke basically told everyone while we were at the dinner table. It was terrible. Not to mention he came over to Emerson's afterward and made it even worse. I don't have many regrets, but he's definitely my biggest one. He's such a jerk.”

“Which you wouldn't have known since all you two did was shove your tongues into each other's mouth.” I pin her with another glare. “It's true!”

“Doesn't matter. Emerson was pissed, more at Luke and how he found out than at me. Anyway, now you know why I'm not going to a party. Those days are officially over. Besides, we need to do something where we can talk. I need to know what's been happening with you and Parker.”

“We should probably go out to eat then.”

“It's too cold,” I complain. October's weather might as well have bypassed fall and ran straight to winter.

“Oh my God, Eva. Don't say that. We are not some eighty-year-old grandmas who don't leave the house based on the weather. Let's shower, get pretty, and go eat.” She claps her hands and adds, “Chop, chop,” when I make no move to get up.

Grumbling, I stand. “Why does everyone compare me to a grandma?”

“Because you're just like one!” She stops as if she realizes what I said and adds, “Who else compared you to one?”

“Emerson. He said I reminded him of his grandmother.”

Catherine busts out laughing. I grab one of my pillows and throw it at the back of her head. It doesn't stop her giggles though. We shower and pretty up like she said we were going to do. When Catherine starts listing places we can go, I interrupt her.

“Let's go to Smitty's. You haven't been yet and Emerson almost always takes Glen when he goes. I need a BBQ sandwich.”

She nods in agreement and off we go. We're pretty much in our own world as we enter the busy restaurant and take a seat. After we order, I decide to ask the question I've wanted to know the answer to and which Catherine always avoids. First, I need to build up to it.

“How are you and Parker?”

Catherine smiles so widely, I know I did right by texting him for her. “Great. Thank you for giving me the push. We discussed a few things, I told him about my crazy fear, and he said he was going to be more sneaky about getting me to commit.” She laughs. “He told me he was willing to stick by my side even if he had to run next to me when I tried to run away. How sweet is that?”

“Very sweet,” I agree. “So, does he know why you freak out?” The waitress drops our food off as Catherine nods. “Then why don't I know? I've been your best friend for three years, Cath. He's been your boyfriend for a short fraction of that amount of time.”

She avoids looking at me as she takes her first bite. “Well, I had to tell him to keep him. I almost feel like if I tell you, it'll jinx everything.” My eyebrows pull together in confusion. “You're the only person I've ever gotten close to who hasn't left me. Everyone else has, so I felt like if I told you I'm always the person people leave behind, then you'd be the next to do it. Commitment scares the hell out of me because it has meant so little to so many people in my life.”

Aw. I want to hug her, so I stand, squeeze myself between her and the table as I sit sideways in her lap, wrapping my arms around her shoulders.

“People are staring,” she laughs.

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