Page 64 of Without a Doubt

I laugh. I can't help it. “C'mon, sunshine. Let's go lay down.”

“I want to talk,” she says as a protest.

“We will,” I promise.

But when we lie down, cuddled together, we fall asleep before any more words can be spoken. I sleep peacefully until she wakes me up again in the morning. She must have woken up before me because she's not her usual grumpy self when I open my eyes. She's solemn, but not grouchy.

“I'm sorry,” she repeats, not wasting any time. “The way you said it and reacted rubbed me the wrong way. I haven't even seriously considered it. Catherine has mentioned it a few times in a joking kind of way. I think the first time she said you were going to ask me, I laughed and said you weren't. But I felt like you thought it was so absurd and impossible to consider. Then you kept talking about how we weren't serious enough.” She shakes her head “That was so hard to hear,” she whispers.

I wrap a curl around one of my fingers, rubbing my thumb over the soft strands. “Eva, it was a knee-jerk reaction and once I said it, I was screwed. Nothing I could've said would've helped.” She nods in agreement. “You're already over here a lot because I want you around so much. Moving in is a big step. There would have to be a conversation about it first, probably more than one. I laughed because I was caught off guard and I figured you'd be on the same page.”

“We are, I think,” she says.

“Yeah? What page are we on?” I ask.

“The one where moving in sounds like a good idea, but then when one of us is too much for the other and we need some space, we'd have nowhere to go. So, everything is fine the way it is.” She gives me a small smile. “If I'm over here four or more nights a week, then let's talk again, or closer to the end of the semester.”

I kiss her forehead. “It's a plan.”

“You can stay in bed this time. I'll shower first.” She gives me a quick kiss before getting up, grabbing her overnight bag on the way.

I'm kind of impressed. Eva's never the first one out of bed. I don't want to lie here though. I get up, hearing the water running. I open the door, intending to join her, but I spot a box of feminine products on the counter. Joining her probably isn't going to happen. I quietly close the door and return to bed until she's done. Faintly, I wonder if her monthly visit is part of why she got pissed off so quickly last night. I shake my head of the thought, knowing if I voiced that aloud, she'd kick my ass for saying it.

Eva ends up fixing breakfast while I'm in the shower. We may not live together and may not quite be ready to make that level of commitment, but our routines if we did are already in place. She's comfortable here as if it was her own, too.

“You better enjoy me while I'm here,” Eva tells me, distracting me from my thoughts.

“Why's that?”

“I'll probably stay at my dorm since midterms are next week. I need to study my ass off because I feel like I've been slacking lately. Plus, Catherine broke up with her boyfriend, and she needs me.”

“Shit. I almost forgot about midterms.” Eva laughs, shaking her head at me, and I add, “Are you working Saturday?”

“No.”

“Then study your heart out and we'll take Saturday off to visit my parents if you want.”

Eva nods. “Sounds good to me. I'll be more than ready for a break by then. I'm going to go ahead and leave. I need to go by my dorm before class.” She rinses her plate, retrieves her bag from my room, and returns to kiss me. “Don't miss me too much, okay?” She grins.

“No promises. Give me another kiss and go before you're late.”

She does and then is on her way. I turn my head

to watch her leave, feeling her absence immediately. Here, she has her own comforter, her own toothbrush, and she's started to leave her toiletries in my bathroom. I don't mind either. I like seeing touches of her here, especially since she thinks my apartment is pretty bare in terms of personal items.

After all of that, I kind of want her to move in now. I shake my head at myself.

“JUST CALL HIM.” It's the advice I've been giving for four days now. Catherine and I have been studying for our midterms all week, and when we aren't, she's moping over her break up with Parker. The break up she made happen. I swear, I think we've eaten four cartons of ice cream between the two of us. The only thing it's doing is making us feel worse; her because of her situation and me because junk food on my period doesn't mesh well for me. I'm to the point now where if she complains one more time, I'm going to strangle her.

“I can't.”

“You can,” I interrupt. “You just won't. Come on, Catherine. You broke up with him for a stupid reason. Call him, explain what happened, and he'll take you back for sure.” She shakes her head like he won't. “He's stopped by twice every day for almost a week, trying to get you back. Trust me. He'll welcome you with open arms.” I massage my forehead, gaining a headache and wishing I had my heating pad to help with my cramps until the Midol kicks in. This is definitely one of those weeks when I hate being a girl. I'm miserable.

“It's not that simple, Eva. Maybe he won't want to deal with my issues after I explain them.”

Withholding my sigh is almost impossible, but I manage to do it. “Then he isn't worth it. And Cath, you have commitment issues. That's a walk in the park compared to you being a crazy psycho bitch or something. For the sake of our friendship and your sanity, go talk to him.”

She watches me for a second. “You're snappy today.”

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