Page 53 of Bracing the Blue Line (Bracing for Love 1)

“What the fuck?” I hear him say in confusion.

Ignoring him, I open the door to my room, pulling Lucy inside. We sit on the bed and she leans into me, the tears never missing a beat. With every passing minute that silence emits from her, the more worried I become. After thirty minutes, five words leave her mouth, and I couldn’t be more thankful.

“Can I stay here tonight?”

“Yes, of course.” Whatever she wants, I’ll give it to her. I don’t like seeing her so upset, and I want my happy Lucy back.

She sits up to look at me, reaching up to wipe the tears away, but I beat her to it. “No, don’t say it because I was crying. Grant, don’t let me stay because you feel bad for me and want to make me feel better. Do it because...because…” Her voice trails off like she doesn’t even know what she wants anymore.

“Stay, Lucy. I don’t want you anywhere else but here with me.” She gives me a small smile, and I know that’s what she wanted to hear. “I’ll be right back, okay?” Lucy nods, so I reluctantly leave her to go talk to the guys. I’m more than ready to go to bed. Dealing with three Kennedy brothers in one day is exhausting, but I need to do this first.

“What the hell, man?” Neil asks, but he’s only curious. “Was that Lucy?”

“Yeah. Sorry about a while ago. She’s having a rough day.”

“Everything okay?” Bo questions.

“Fuck if I know. We’re going to lay low in my room. Don’t be asses, all right?” Neil smirks, like I’m joking. “I’m serious, Neil. Don’t even think about it. I’ve had to see all three fucking brothers tonight, and Lucy is not having a good day. Make the wrong move, and I-”

“Okay, okay. Damn, go to bed, Grant.”

Satisfied, I leave them to return to Lucy. She’s already under the covers, asleep. Her face is peaceful, but my favorite thing is that the corners of her mouth are up, like she’s dreaming about something that’s making her happy. That’s my Lucy. She stirs, and I realize I’ve been staring too long. Time to change and then crawl into bed next to her.

Usually, I’m pretty good at defining relationships and what they are. With Lucy, I’m completely lost. We have an intimacy that we share without sleeping together. We’ll hold hands here and there, but I haven’t even kissed her. Not on the lips, at least. We haven’t been on a date. There is something between us. I just don’t know how to label it.

As I lay next to her without being able to see her face because her back is to me, I decide we don’t need to be defined. Whatever it is, I like. I don’t want to analyze it and try to make it fit on the shelf with textbooks when it’s obviously a storybook. I don’t need to perfect what this is because it’s fine the way it is.

I can’t help but feel a little helpless though. Something about this day surrounds the four siblings, and I don’t know what. It’s not even about satisfying my curiosity. It’s about having Lucy know that that part of their life is safe with me too. My mind begins to wonder about what it could be. Did something happen to Lucy when she was younger to make them as protective over her as they are? Was today the anniversary?

I start coming up with outrageous horror stories. Each of them makes me sick to my stomach to think that something bad could ever happen to my sweet Lucy. The house goes quiet as everyone turns in for the night, but I’m still awake, still thinking. Lucy rolls over and snuggles against me. Her body makes me relax with sleep moments away.

AN ELBOW HITS me in the gut, waking me with pain. What the hell? Lucy is thrashing next to me, her arms flailing, her face contorted in fear as silent tears fall down her face.

I go to reach for her arms, but she manages to clock me right in the jaw.

“Lucy!” I grab her wrists, but she’s fighting against me with all her might. “Lucy!” I half-yell again.

Her eyes flash open. Her chest is heaving, and the fucking tears are gliding silently down her cheeks. She looks terrified. By now, I’m hovering over her, pinning her wrists down on either side of her head. Her breaths quicken sharply. Her eyes are still glazed like she’s not aware she’s awake yet.

“It’s okay. You’re awake, Lucy. You’re okay. You’re with me.” I repeat those four sentences again, but she’s still breathing too fast, about to hyperventilate at any second. Her eyes start jumping around the room and ever so slightly, her wrists begin to tug against mine. “Lucy,” I start, loosening my grip, “You’re with me and everything is okay. Say it.”

Her voice is pure terror and shaky, but she whispers, “I’m with you and everything is okay.”

“Again.”

“I’m with you and everything is okay.”

“One more time.”

“I’m with you and everything is okay.” She’s breathing normally again, looking more alert, but she hasn’t stopped crying yet. “Can you let me go?”

I release her wrists and lay down next to her. Lucy immediately turns and presses against me, wrapping her arms tightly around me. Now that things are calm, my jaw starts to ache. It doesn't matter, though. I hold her as tightly as she's holding me, kissing the top of her head and leaving my lips there. I want to ask her what the fuck that was, if she’s okay, but I don’t. I wait for her to speak instead. And she eventually does.

“I need Patrick,” is all she says.

Keeping her close to me, I reach over her for her cell and search for his number. Once I find it, I call him. It rings four times before he answers, and he sounds panicked but awake even though it’s three in the morning.

“Luce? Is everything okay? Lucy?”

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