Page 14 of Light in the Dark (Heaven and Hell Duet 2)

What if I mess up? What if he decides he doesn’t like me? What if we don’t bond? These questions tumble out of my mouth before FC has a chance to speak. “What if I can’t handle it? What if I’m not meant to be a mother? What if it turns out I like kids better when I can return them to their parents and not have them around twenty-four seven? We’ll be one of those couples who forever lives separately, never gets married, and dates for years and years because it’ll turn out I don’t want kids of my own.”

FC clamps a hand over my mouth. “Calm down, Idaline. Your anxiety is talking and I need you to come back to me. I’ll remove my hand, but I want you to stay quiet and listen to me carefully.” When I nod in agreement, he removes his hand. “All these questions are nothing but your anxiety getting the best of you.” I frown and shake my head in disagreement. “Yes, it is, love. Sawyer already likes you. We’ll both mess up. We’re not perfect.

“You’ve already started to bond. You can handle it because we’ll be doing it together. And you do want kids one day. You wouldn’t have that list of favorite names if you didn’t want to be a mother. I’m sorry you’re feeling pressured; that’s the last thing I wanted for you. You take things at your pace, okay? But instead of being overwhelmed that our future seems to be set in stone, maybe you can find comfort in knowing where we’ll end up.”

He does have a point. I lean forward to rest my forehead against his. “Maybe it was my anxiety talking.”

FC smiles. “It was. Some are legitimate concerns, but you were getting carried away, too.”

Feeling a bit better about things, I return to my own seat to finish eating. We tidy up and then decide to start with my bedroom. That’s where the bulk of my things are. Might as well get the biggest mess out of the way, right? It won’t be prettily packed either because we only have two vehicles to pack with as much shit as possible.

“Do you think you’ll be happy in Raleigh?” FC asks after we’ve steadily worked for about twenty minutes.

“Yeah, I think so,” I answer honestly. “Aside from you, it seems like a nice place. If I can get a job, things would be complete.”

He nods in understanding. A few times, he stops to text his mom. Smiling shyly as he admits he’s getting an update on his son, which often includes a picture he shows me. We talk more in depth about the past two years of our lives. Him and his relationship with Lila, the birth of his son, and what it’s been like as a single parent moving back home close to his parents. I tell him about awkward run-ins with Justin, my issues with anxiety, even where it concerns him, and about the time period where we hardly talked at all, especially once I learned his name.

It’s cathartic to feel so free with him, freer than ever to communicate and talk about things I might hav

e hesitated with in the past. I think it’s likely because he’s shared every possible thing about himself that he could. He’s opened himself up. He’s made himself vulnerable. If FC, who I know is so strong, can make himself vulnerable to tell me about the weakest parts of himself, then so can I.

After two hours of packing, we decide that’s good enough for one night. It’s quiet as we get ready for bed. FC is first in bed. He lies on his side, one arm stretched out just beneath my pillow. A small smile rests on his face.

“What are you waiting for?” he asks as I stand next to the bed, gazing at him.

“Does it amaze you that we now get to sleep in the same bed? And not as friends, but as lovers?” I wiggle my eyebrows, which makes him laugh.

He reaches over, grabs my wrist, and tugs me hard. “Do you know what amazes me?” he asks once I’m lying comfortably next to him.

“What?” I whisper.

“That you could love me. That you still love me. That you’re willing to be with me. Everything about you amazes me.”

I grin. One kiss leads to two and two kisses lead to our hands exploring each other’s bodies, which eventually leads to heavy breathing, moans, and the best sex ever.

We spend all day Saturday packing and finish in time to drive over to my grandpa’s house to eat dinner with my family. Considering this huge change I’m making, they all want to see me before I leave and they would like to meet FC. I think we’re both a bit nervous. Neither of us really have a reason to be, but we are all the same.

We enter my grandpa’s house holding hands, feeling like a team ready to face a firing squad if need be. My parents and my grandpa sit in the living room. They laugh over something we obviously missed since we weren’t inside when they were talking.

“Hey, y’all,” I say to announce our arrival.

Heads turn, smiles stay in place, and they stand. Grandpa is closest, so he’s the first to pull me into a bear hug.

“I sure have missed you. Going to miss you even more now that you’re moving away.” He releases me, but rests his hands on my shoulders. “But you can still call me if you need me and I’ll get in the old pick-up and be on my way.”

My smile is a little wobbly because he’s made me all emotional now. “Thanks, Grandpa. You remember FC, right?”

“I do,” he nods curtly, reaching out to shake his hand. “It’s good to see you. I sure hope you plan to take good care of my granddaughter.”

“I do,” FC replies seriously.

I turn to my parents. “Mom, Dad, this is FC Hart. FC, meet my mom, Heidi, and my dad, Simon.”

The hellos are exchanged easily before Grandpa leads us all to his dining room table where food is already laid out. We take seats and begin to distribute food while questions are fired at us both. Silently, I thank my grandfather because my parents never ask me if I’m sure I should be moving to North Carolina. Instead, I get questions like have I found an apartment and a job. Or how often I plan to come back home for visits.

When they learn of FC’s son, it’s as if they learn they just became grandparents themselves and they definitely want us to either return with him soon or visit us as soon as they can. FC shows off pictures of Sawyer like the proud father he is. Speaking of Sawyer also gives him the excuse to call and check in, which allows my parents to see Sawyer and talk to him since it’s a video call. They fall in love immediately with Sawyer.

For the most part, FC freely shares the fact that he has sole custody of Sawyer and why. He doesn’t give them any gritty details, but he surprises me when he tells them it’s because Lila abused him and honestly didn’t care about Sawyer. The more FC talks, the more my parents seem to like him and the more my grandpa seems to respect him. I honestly couldn’t have imagined a better dinner, especially once things become more of a relaxed conversation instead of a targeted question and answer session.

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