Page 34 of Hell and a Hard Place (Heaven and Hell Duet 1)

“When you saw him, how did you greet him?”

I shrug as I answer, not sure what this has to do with anything. “I ran over and gave him a hug.”

Justin shakes his head. “You don’t see the problem with that?”

“I don’t understand what the big deal is. I haven’t seen him for months.”

“I’m your boyfriend, I was gone for a week, and I haven’t gotten a hug or a kiss yet. In fact, you made me wait until you were done hugging FC to even acknowledge me,” he points out.

“That’s different.”

“How?” he demands to know. “How the fuck is that different, Idaline?”

As the answer hits me, I realize I probably shouldn’t give it to him. The reason FC gets such a happy greeting is because I’m ecstatic to see him. My heart nearly leaps out of my chest. That’s probably because I don’t see him all that often. I don’t get that kind of feeling when I see Justin. I am happy to see him, but not nearly to the same extent as with FC, even after Justin’s been gone for a week. I decide to settle on the partial truth. “I don’t see FC that often. I’m lucky to see him when I do because I never know when I’ll see him again. You’re more reliable. I always know when I’ll see you.”

“Except for today apparently,” he snaps.

FC pokes his head out the door, his eyes firmly on mine. “Should I leave?” His eyes beg me to say no, but it’s almost as if he’s fully prepared for me to say yes.

“No, you’re fine. Find something for us to watch on TV. We’re almost done.”

He nods and closes the door.

“Can we talk about this another time, Justin? When FC isn’t inside and when I don’t have to stand outside in my pajamas?”

He sighs. “Yeah. I’m sorry, Idaline,” he says as he hugs me. “I was just really looking forward to seeing you.”

“We’ll do something tomorrow,” I promise.

Justin gives me a kiss and soon, I’m back inside with FC. I sit down and FC wraps an arm around my shoulders, tugging me toward him a little.

“You okay?”

“Yeah. I think he’s more upset that I didn’t remember he was coming home.” That’s unlikely, but it’s better than telling FC we were indeed talking about him.

“Where was he again?”

“Gone on vacation with his family to the mountains. He invited me, but I didn’t feel ready for that.”

FC nods. “You don’t want to go spend time with him at his place? I don’t mind being left alone, Idaline.”

I rest my head on his shoulder. “I’m not leaving you.”

He pulls me tighter even as he says, “You probably should.”

I ignore him. There’s not much that would cause me to walk away from him while he’s here, and the only thing that would is a family emergency. I don’t even have to go deep down in the depths of my soul to know that he needs me more, even if it’s my mere presence. It’s like he needs some major healing and I’m the one to heal him.

I wish I knew what was hurting him, though. Whatever it is, he doesn’t deserve it. But what is his reason for not telling me? Does he think I can’t handle it? That I can’t help him? Or maybe it has more to do with him than me?

“Idaline?”

“Yeah?” I lift my head to look at FC.

“Thanks for letting me come. I would’ve relapsed if you wouldn’t have let me.”

“You don’t know that,” I argue.

He nods, a grim look on his face. “I do. It was already made up in my mind because I didn’t think I had the strength to get through the night without it. Hell, even when I got here, I had to distract myself to keep from searching for it.” FC looks away, leaning his head on the back of the couch. “It’s easier to deal while being here with you, but I still wouldn’t mind getting shitfaced until I couldn’t remember my own name, much less anything else going on.” His sigh is so heavy and there’s something heartbreaking about it.

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