Page 62 of Driving Me Mad (Sanity 1)

“No, that’s okay. Thanks, though.”

With that, she puts in the earbuds.

“I’ve flown before,” Trace says. “It can be a long drive back to Texas, so sometimes, I would just fly home. It’s like a car ride, but in the air and with a better view. Look.”

I lean over to peer out the window. “Wow,” I whisper. I’ve obviously never seen the world like this, and I have to say, I like this part of flying. I’m in awe of how everything looks. Tiny and vast at the same time. Okay, so maybe flying isn’t so bad. I lean back into my seat, but rest my head on Trace’s shoulder.

He kisses the top of my head and whispers, “I love you, Britt.”

“Love you, too.” How did I get so lucky? In the midst of the mental health crap I deal with, I landed a supportive, sweet, caring, smart, gorgeous boyfriend who is undeniably my rock in life. He’s the person I lean on when I’m tired of supporting the heavy weight on my shoulders. He’s the person who understands me and knows how to make me smile and laugh when I definitely don’t feel like doing either.

Hopefully, I’m that kind of person for him too. He’s been a saint with me during midterms. I pray that if the situation were reversed, I’d be as good for him as he was for me.

“When are your parents coming again?” Trace asks, snapping me out of my thoughts.

“Week after next. Are you nervous?” I lift my head to look at him.

“A little bit. Meeting the parents is nerve-racking enough as it is, but considering our history and everything, more so than usual.”

“They like you,” I remind him.

“Yeah, as your therapist. What about as your boyfriend?”

“They’ll still like you. Try not to worry about it. They know you’re a good man.”

“They don’t know that,” he dismisses.

“Well, I do! Trace, there’s no way in hell that they can not like you. Former therapist, current boyfriend, or not. Promise.”

He does a stupid little sigh, but he nods. I hate that this is something that worries him, especially when I know my parents won’t have an issue with him. He closes his eyes and leans his head back against the seat.

I feel like we should keep talking, so I do. “By the way, you’ll have tomorrow night to yourself. Rebecca got me and her tickets to some male strip show. She said it was a must since we’re in Vegas.”

“Okay; y’all will probably have fun.”

“And I know she wants to go to Fremont Street.”

“Sounds good.”

He doesn’t sound all that excited about the trip, though. He hasn’t at all, really. I stare at him as I debate whether or not it’s a good idea to ask him the question burning the tip of my tongue.

Of course, he notices.

“What is it, Brittany?”

“You feelin’ okay?”

“Just fine,” he says as he rests his head against the seat and closes his eyes again, ending the conversation.

“Liar,” I whisper, angling away from him. He loves me, but he’s full of shit. That whole complete honesty phrase he feeds me sometimes to make sure I talk to him is a load of crock. He still can’t be honest with me about how he’s feeling. Well, not all the time at least.

“Britt,” he begins.

“Don’t. Take your nap.” I close my eyes, even though I doubt I can sleep. I don’t want him to tell me because I don’t believe he’s telling the truth. I don’t want him to tell me because I want to know and he knows it’ll make me happy. I want him to tell me because he wants to share it with me and doesn’t feel the need to lie to me about it. He doesn’t have to hide it from me. He shouldn’t have to. He shouldn’t want to. Not to mention, I thought he was trying to do better, but obviously not in this area.

A hand lands on my thigh, but I ignore it. Lips brush my ear, and I try to ignore that too. “I just don’t want you to worry about me and I don’t want to bring you down with me.”

I turn back toward him. “I worry about you regardless, Trace, and that’s no excuse to hold back on me. You won’t bring me down with you either. You haven’t so far. How would you feel if I lied to you about how I’m feeling?” He frowns, and I’m quick to say, “Exactly! You wouldn’t like it. What makes you think I do? You’re not good at hiding it from me anymore, Trace.”

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