Page 14 of You Before Me

We shop all day, and I rack up some charges on the credit card my parents gave me. I'm sure I'll get a call at the end of the month about that bill. It never fails for them to say if I were a boy, I wouldn't waste so much money on clothes. Seriously, just get over it already! You got me. Stop complaining. Nineteen years worth should be enough for the rest of my life and theirs combined. Besides, they don't have to keep reminding me of how everything I do isn't good enough for them. Not to mention the clothes that I buy, they don't always approve of. It's too slutty and not very “ladylike.” Whatever.

Once I get home, I turn on my love song playlist and draw myself a bubble bath. It's not Sunday, but I'm in dire need of some relaxation. I may have to make a massage appointment next week. I've been so strung up lately. Probably because of the looming deadline my parents have on me for declaring my major.

The suds and hot water temporarily erase those problems. I soak for entirely too long, and I know that if I don't get out soon, my body will still be wrinkly when I get to the party. Prune-y won't get me laid. While I'm eating Ramen noodles, a guilty pleasure of mine, and watching the old TV show M*A*S*H, my father calls. I ignore it as usual. If I talk to him before the party, I'll be in no mood to have sex. My dad, most of all and despite my straight-A history, doesn't believe I'll graduate from college. He wants me to graduate, that is what is expected of me, but he doesn't think I'll be able to do so. He thinks that like everything else I've done, I'll quit.

Ugh. No. Stop it right there, Ryan. Tonight is party night. There is no time to think about what I'll do next to disappoint my parents. Although, that kind of makes me wish I had a sibling, like Gabe, and then my parents would focus all their attention on him. But they stopped trying to have a boy after I was born because my mother had two miscarriages. After that, they didn't want to go through that type of loss again. Which left them, their hopes, and their dreams stuck with me.

I wonder what it would have been like to have siblings. Does Gabe like them or wish he was an only child? Oh, great. Now, I'm thinking about Gabe. He's on my mind as I start getting ready, as I ride with Viv to the party, as I talk mindlessly with different people, and drinking a couple beers along the way. But then a football player spots me. I know his face and his number, 43, but I can't for the life of me remember his name. How is it that I can remember almost everything Gabe said last night, but I can't think of this guy's name and I've slept with him twice before?

“Hey, Ry,” he greets. Ah, yes. That's why. Because he insists on shortening my name.

“Ryan,” I correct. I may not always like my name, but it's mine, and I'm going to own it. “Hey.”

“You looked like you needed another drink.” He hands me a red cup, and I graciously take three swallows from it.

“Thanks.”

Bass from the speakers set up all over this place thrums through my body with the alcohol. 43 is looking at me with desire as he pulls me to him. He slips his beer-free hand underneath my shirt, his clammy hand touching my bare back. 43 leans down to whisper into my ear, some sloppy, not all that hot and dirty things to convince me to head upstairs with him. But the more he talks and lowers his hand over my ass, the more I get turned off. I was probably too drunk in the past to remember or care about these features.

“I'm not feeling all that great. I think I'm going to find Viv and get her to take me home.” I push him away with a little more force than I intended.

“I'll take you,” he offers.

I agree, only because I'm hoping that once I get away from all these people, I'll be in a better mood to fuck. That's what I really want tonight. But if not, then Mr. 43 is going to be very disappointed. He follows me

as I try to find Viv, but she's nowhere to be found.

“C'mon, Ry.”

“Ryan,” I insert.

“Let's go already. She'll figure it out.” He starts tugging me out of the house, his grip too tight for me to fight him on this. Him taking control is kind of turning me on anyway, so I let him.

Once we get back to my place though, I regret it. I haven't even unlocked my door yet because I don't want him to come inside. 43 has me pressed against my door, his slobbery kisses all over my neck before he starts heading towards my chest, where, thanks to my bra and new shirt, there is quite a bit of cleavage showing for him to touch.

“I'm not feeling well,” I repeat. “Thanks for the ride, but I'm going inside. Alone,” I add.

His lips move up the left side of my neck, so I turn my head to the right by instinct. His hands grip my waist tighter as he puts more of his body weight on me. “Ry,” he starts.

“Ryan.” Seriously? How many times do I have to correct him? “You don't need to try to change my mind. The answer will still be no.”

That makes him stop kissing me. His eyes turn dark as he stares at me, his hold stronger than ever. “No? You didn't hesitate before, Ry. Everyone on campus knows that you're an easy lay and now you're telling me no?”

“I may be easy, but I'm not that easy for you tonight.” I try to push him off me, but it's impossible. He's not budging. “Get off me.” I attempt to make my voice as level as possible, but even I hear how it trembles a little.

“Is there a problem?”

At the sound of his voice, my head snaps to the stairwell. 43 isn't paying him any mind yet. Gabe is standing rigid with his arms by his side, hands in fists, and he is not looking happy at all in his police uniform. His deadly stare is trained on 43. What is he even doing here?

“Buddy, I don't think this is any of your business, so-” Finally, he looks, stopping mid-sentence when he sees that it's a cop. 43 takes a small step away from me.

Gabe looks at me. “Ma'am?” He questions, and I've never been so thankful to hear him say that.

“Um, everything is fine.” I turn to 43, who looks a little pissed. “Catch you later.” I quickly turn around, pull the house key from my bra, and go inside without another look back.

With my back against the door, I can hear feet shuffling away, but then some coming towards me. A knock sounds loudly, making me jump. I slowly open the door to peek, and once I see it's Gabe, I open it completely.

“Are you okay?” He asks.

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