Page 18 of You Before Me

That was what she wanted after all. I, on the other hand, wanted to kiss her. So I did. Ryan looked beautiful afterwards, just like I said. Her eyelashes fanned over her cheeks, and she was as lost as I felt. I can't believe no one has ever said that to her. What do they tell her then? Anyway, she asked me to stay, and I wasn't about to turn her down.

Now, we're lying on our sides in her bed. Ryan had nothing but pure lust in her eyes when she came back from the bathroom, and it's still lingering there.

&nbs

p; “You never told me what scares you,” I say, knowing it's a risk to bring that up again.

She sighs. With a blink, her desire disappears. “Thanks for effectively making me not want to sleep with you anymore.” She pauses. “Well, right now anyway.”

I chuckle, but wait for her to answer me.

“If I tell you, do you promise not to bring it up ever again?”

“Sure.” I'm expecting her to tell me something that isn't that big of a deal.

Ryan rolls to lay on her back and quietly speaks. “All my life, I've been trying to make up for not being what they wanted. I'm scared that it's a hopeless aspiration.”

“Who?” I ask gently.

“My parents. I wasn't lying when I said I've been a disappointment since birth. Their expectations are entirely too high, and I can't ever meet any of them. That's all I'm willing to say. What are we going to do on our second date?” She turns her head to look at me.

I smile, even though my mind is floored with what she said. “We're having a private shooting lesson.”

Ryan grins. “I'm kind of excited about that. A little scared, but a little excited too.” She covers her mouth with her hand to yawn. Then she rolls over, gives me a quick kiss, and adds, “I'm getting sleepy. G'night, Gabe.”

“Night, Ryan.”

I close my eyes with her, but my mind is still thinking. Her parents are obviously a touchy subject, and I want to know more. Unfortunately, I promised never to bring it up again. Maybe Ryan will want to share that with me eventually.

In the meantime, I need to keep myself from swooping in like Prince Charming himself. That doesn't work. With every relationship and me doing just that, I've lost the girl. There's only so much I can spare to lose after having lost so many times. My gut tells me that if things ever get serious with Ryan, I won't just lose. I would be utterly defeated and completely depleted of love to give. There should be a guard around my heart, so I can most definitely stop being that guy who is too good, too eager to trust.

My body starts to relax as I open my eyes to see Ryan sleeping peacefully. The length of my night plus a long work day hits me hard and soon, I'm asleep.

* * *

A hand is tangled in my hair, slowly playing with my curls, and my pillow is moving underneath me. As I start to wake up, I realize my head is lying on Ryan's breasts. At some point, she became my pillow, and I'm hugging her to me. I open my eyes and see that I'm correct. I lift my head to see a smile, and Ryan's gleaming green eyes, her hand sliding to the side, but still twirling a curl around her finger.

She giggles, making me smile. “You sleep like a girl. I couldn't even cuddle with you because you decided to use me as a pillow.”

“Sorry,” I say as I go to move away from her.

“Don't you dare, Gabe. Your hair is too soft, and I'm not done touching it. Lay back down, please.” She gives me a sweet smile, so I do. Her fingers start moving once more, and it's kind of soothing.

“What time is it?”

Before she can answer, her bedroom door opens. A girl walks in, sees us, and starts backing out, obviously surprised to find me in here with Ryan.

“What the hell, Viv?” Ryan asks annoyed.

“Sorry!”

“I'll be right back.” Ryan leaves me in bed and on her way out, she says, “This is the second Sunday in a row you've barged in on my Me Day. It's never anything that you couldn't text me about either.”

Me Day? Ryan leaves the door halfway open, and I can still hear their conversation.

“Sorry!” she repeats. “I didn't know you had company. Who is that?”

“Why are you here? Do I need to get my key back?” Ryan's tone is slightly threatening.

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