I, Gemma Anne Carlson, take thee, Travis Charles Bowers . . .

Before, Gemma hadn’t been able to stop thinking about Travis’s face during the ceremony, or whether or not he’d really cared about her, but staring at the woman in the film now, she could remember how she felt standing up there, reciting those words. And the only person she’d ever wanted to say them to was Travis.

She loved him. Beyond reason, logic, or fear. She’d been holding on to the past so tightly that she hadn’t been able to listen to herself and what was best for her.

Gemma had been half alive until she’d met him, and when he was gone, she’d put her heart and soul into their son. But the minute she’d found Travis again, that spark had returned.

He was her light. He was her strength.

And she had blown it, big-time.

“Gemma?” her mother called, coming into the room. Gemma tried to hide her tears and turn off the DVD, but her mother had already seen it.

“Oh, Gemma.” Her mother sat down next to her on the bed and wrapped an arm around her shoulders. It was so comforting; Gemma longed to turn her head and sob into her shoulder, but she didn’t want to break down.

As if she didn’t feel Gemma’s stiffening, her mother said, “I still remember the first day you brought Travis home to meet us. I saw the way you were with him. After you started dating, your daddy told me he thought Travis was too mature and would take advantage of you. I didn’t agree, though. When you were with Travis, I watched as that little spark you used to have started to come back, and you shined, honey. He brought out the best in you, and you were good for him.”

Sighing, her mother continued, “I think I did you a disservice. I told you to keep your head down and ignore the bullies. I didn’t ever tell you that I often disagreed with your father. I taught you to be weak and scared, when I should have taught you how to fight for what you wanted. I’m sorry I failed you.” Taking Gemma’s hand, she asked, “What do you want, Gemma? What’s going to make you happy and whole again? What do you want to fight for?”

Gemma’s cheeks were wet with tears and her voice sounded strangled as she said, “I want Travis. I want him here, living with us. I want to spend the rest of our lives together, having more children and loving each other.” Sobbing, she threw herself against her mother, letting go of the bitterness, the resentment. “I want it all, Mom.”

Her mother’s arms tightened around her and she whispered, “Then make things right with your boy, and go after what you want.”

A LITTLE WHILE later, after her tears had dried and she was calm, Gemma walked up the stairs to Charlie’s room. Knocking, she called, “Charlie, can I come in?”

There was a pause, and then he said, “I guess.”

Turning the knob and pushing the door open, she walked inside and made her way to sit down on his bed. He was propped up by a mountain of pillows, reading one of his Goosebumps books.

Hesitantly, she asked, “How are you feeling?”

“Okay,” he said quietly, not looking up from his book.

“Charlie, look at me, please.”

Those dark blue eyes met hers defiantly, and she sighed. “I know you’re mad at me, and I don’t blame you. I’m mad at myself, for a lot of things.” Reaching out, she took his book from his hand and set it on the nightstand. “I used to get mad at your grandpa and grandma a lot, too.”

“Why?” Charlie asked.

Gemma smiled a little. “My father, who you didn’t get a chance to meet, used to say hurtful things to me and yell. A lot. I know that he was doing the best he could, but when you’re a kid, you don’t get it. All you know is that there’s this huge person in your face screaming, and it scares you.”

“He did that?” Charlie asked, eyes wide.

“Yeah, he did. He wasn’t a bad man, he just didn’t have a very good example to follow, and he let his anger get the best of him sometimes. But when he would get into that state, I learned to shut him out. I would go to a little place inside my mind and wait until it was over.”

“Did Grandma yell at you, too? Is that why you got mad at her?” Charlie asked.

“No. I was mad at Grandma for not stopping him,” Gemma said.

Charlie seemed to be mulling things over. “Did you ever forgive her?”

“Yes, the year after you were born. Grandma and I got into an argument, and I told her how I felt. And she cried, and explained that a husband and a wife were a team. She had been taught that you back up your husband in public, and tell him he’s wrong in private,” Gemma said.

“That’s dumb,” Charlie said, using perfect kid logic.

“Yeah, but people are the way they are, and it’s hard to change them unless they want to change.” Squeezing his hand, she continued. “Charlie, your dad and I are going to have fights. All kinds of fights. We’re going to try our hardest not to, but when we do, it doesn’t mean we don’t love you.”

“What about Dad? You said you didn’t love him and you wanted him to go,” Charlie said, his lip trembling.