Page 56 of Christmas with Her Millionaire Boss

“Why? You’ve never been before.” The words came flying out before James realized what he was saying. They landed between them, causing his father to sit back, his features frozen in shock.

“You don’t think I care?” Jackson said. He actually sounded stung.

What did he do now?

Aww, heck. Might as well put this bit of the past to rest too. “I’m not making an accusation,” James said, holding up a hand. “I understand that you were stuck with me when Mom left and that put you in an awkward position.”

His father stared at him. A long look similar to the ones he’d given James as a teenager. And like then, James had to fight the urge to tug at his collar.

Finally, Jackson put down his fork. “Are you suggesting that I was unhappy when your mother left you behind?”

Wasn’t he? “I remember the look on your face when I came downstairs that morning and you definitely weren’t expecting to see me. If anything,” he added, looking down at his chowder, “you looked disappointed.”

“That’s because I was,” Jackson replied. “For you.” He let out a sigh. “Your mother was a very unpredictable woman. Doing one thing one day, and something else the next. She insisted that I encouraged your analytical side to spite her, and that I didn’t understand what it took to raise a child. I had no idea she’d left you behind until you came downstairs that morning.

“She was right,” he said, smoothing a wrinkle from the tablecloth. “I was completely unprepared.”

Silence filled the table while his father paused to sip his water and James struggled for what to say next. It was true; his mother had been high-strung. Hence the flying crystal. He remembered preferring the quiet of his father’s study to being around her whirling dervish personality.

“I’m not...” Jackson took another drink. “I’m not a naturally affectionate person. Your mother complained all the time that I was too detached. Too stiff. It’s how I am. Looking back, I can see how an impressionable teenager might misconstrue my behavior.

“I can assure you, though,” he added, “that at no time did I ever consider myself ‘stuck’ with you.”

Slowly stirring his soup, James digested his father’s confession. So he had been wanted after all. As far as family reconciliations went, the moment wouldn’t win any prizes, but he got a tightness in his chest nonetheless. “Thank you,” he said. “I appreciate you telling me.”

For the first time in James’s life, Jackson Hammond looked bashful. “You’re welcome. Son.”

By unspoken agreement, they spent the rest of the luncheon discussing business, a far more comfortable subject. When they were finished, Jackson suggested they meet for lunch again the next week. “Or you could come by for dinner,” he offered.

“Sure,” James replied. If his father could try, then so could he. “Dinner would be great.”

Jackson responded with the most awkward shoulder pat in history. Still it was a start.

* * *

Not that he would ever say so, but his father had terrible timing. Short as it was, their heart-to-heart killed the numbness he’d so carefully cultivated when Noelle left. Granted, he’d been cold, but with one or two exceptions, he’d been able to function without thinking about what a fool he’d been.

But then, Jackson decided to pat his shoulder, and the first thought that popped into his head was Noelle was right. Suddenly, the entire weekend was replaying in his head.

Telling his father he had an errand, James hung back on the sidewalk as Jackson entered the building. He needed to clear his head of the frustration his father’s apology had unleashed. It felt like a giant fist shoving upward in his chest. If he didn’t push it back down, he was liable to scream out loud.

Why was he letting one tiny woman get to him so badly?

Dammit! He’d had one-night stands before. Some of them even told him to go to hell after they discovered they were nothing more than one-night stands. None of those experiences had ever turned into an existential crisis. His weekend with Noelle shouldn’t have either, late-night escape or otherwise. Yet here he was, making long overdue peace with his father and wishing it was Noelle reaching out to him instead.

He never should have let her past his defenses. From the start, he knew nothing real could happen between them. Relationships didn’t happen on his end of the bell curve. But then she’d hugged him, shifting around his insides and allowing things like hope and longing to rise to the surface. She’d made him believe their night together went deeper than sex. He hadn’t just taken her in his arms; he’d shared his soul with her. Every touch, every kiss was his way of expressing the feelings she unlocked in him. Fool that he was, he’d actually started believing in Hammond’s marketing pitch.

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