Page 6 of Merry Cherry Christmas
Max nodded. “Cool.”
Jeremy drained the water glass and fidgeted. There—he’d told someone at school. It wasn’t so bad. Even though he might throw up, he’d done it.
“You dating anyone? Having fun?”
He shook his head rapidly and opened his desk drawer to rearrange the paper clips.
“Why not? You’re really cute.”
Jeremy scoffed. “You’re just being nice.” He pushed paper clips around, his ears going hot. He could imagine how stark the freckles across his cheeks looked as he blushed. How ugly.
“So this is the part that’s a struggle?”
“Part of it, I guess.”
“Dude, you’re totally cute. Everyone loves redheads. Did you join the queer club on campus? You’d meet a ton of people. Are you nineteen?” At Jeremy’s nod, he said, “Hit the Church Street bars and hang out in the Village. Or there are plenty other queer spaces in the city. You don’t have to be nervous.”
Barking out a laugh, Jeremy closed the drawer with a thud. “You don’t know who you’re dealing with. Being nervous is my usual state of being. I’ve only said it out loud twice now.”
Max’s brows drew together. “Wait, which part?”
“That I’m…you know. Gay.” He needed to get used to it already. He needed to stop cringing when he said it, waiting to be rejected. He needed to get his shit together like everyone else on campus. Everyone else in Toronto, it seemed like. The sidewalks and subways were crammed full of people rushing around, and they all seemed to know exactly where they were going.
Too restless to sit, he went to the window between the beds in the shoebox of a room and pulled back the curtain. “Still snowing.”
“I won’t stay too long, don’t worry.”
“No, I don’t mean that you should go!” Now he was being rude when Max had gone out of his way to help. When he’d been a hero. “Really.” Jeremy paced over to the desk to grab his beer before sitting on the side of his bed again, facing Max.
“Cool.” Max sipped his beer. “So you’re not out to many people yet?”
“Just my parents. I’m not allowed to tell my little brother yet, or anyone one else in the family. I think they’re hoping it’s a phase. Or they’re just completely ashamed of me. Or both.”
“Shit. That’s brutal. I’m sorry.”
Jeremy shrugged it off. “Anyway.” The last thing he wanted to do was burst into tears. “My roommate Doug knows. Although I never told him myself—we had to fill out these info forms with allergies and likes and dislikes. I wrote it on there.” He cleared his throat, putting on an announcer voice. ‘Hey, I’m Jeremy. I’m from the West Coast, I have a pineapple allergy, I always heat up cold pizza, and I’m really into dudes. Great to meet you.’ Maybe not those exact words.”
Max narrowed his gaze. “Wait, you heat up cold pizza? In the microwave or oven?”
Jeremy was relieved Max was letting the stuff about Jeremy’s parents drop. “Oven preferred, but microwave will do.”
“Whoa. I’m shook. Cold pizza left out all night in the box is basically a food group at my place. I don’t know if we can be friends.”
“Oh.” Friends? Was that on the table? Jeremy knew Max was joking, but the idea of becoming friends with this gorgeous, confident senior had apparently fried his brain. “Uh…”
Max shot him a wink, and Jesus, that cleft in his chin should be illegal. “I suppose I’ll allow the reheated pizza. So your roommate’s cool with you?”
“Yeah. He doesn’t seem to care. He’s chill. Comes in every week and goes to class and does his assignments. Then takes off home for three days. Perfect roommate, I guess.”
“Not so much when you’re trying to make friends.”
Jeremy shrugged. “That’s on me, though.”
“Hmm. And what’s the deal with your parents?”
He tried to shrug that off too. “It’s… It didn’t go great. Coming out, I mean.” Understatement of the year. The hurt swelled, so huge and terribly hollow at the same time. “I don’t want to talk about it.”
“Sorry. That’s rough.”
Nodding, Jeremy took another sip from the cold beer bottle. His fingers were wet with condensation, and he peeled at the green label.
“No high school friends out here?”
“Nope. Kara’s at McGill, and we said we’d totally get together since Montreal’s only a six-hour drive—not that I have a car, but there’s the train.” He sighed, trying for a careless smile. “We got busy, I guess. She has a new boyfriend. All my high school friends seem to be having an amazing time at university. Having a blast. Which is great! I’m really happy for them.”
“Sucks to lose touch though. Happened to me too. Is Kara your best friend?”
“Not really. I never had a best friend, even when I was little. The people I hung out with are scattered all over now and…moving on. I see them on Insta or wherever, but I have nothing to post myself.”
