Page 75 of Kidnapped by the Pirate
He called out, “Mr. Boland.” Boland turned, all eyes on Hawk, ready for his command. “Set the course for Primrose Isle.”
“Aye, Captain!”
Before Nathaniel could say a thing, Hawk took hold of his arm and propelled him down the ladder and into the cabin, where books were stacked on the floor, his paltry belongings needing to be put back to rights, the massive desk still chained down for the careening.
This little room was his home, and it was foolish to think he could find another. Snell was right. Men like them didn’t get to leave the mayhem and bloodshed behind. He wouldn’t permit Nathaniel to follow the same path.
No matter how badly he wanted to keep him close—to say to hell with the ransom and face those consequences as well—the image of Nathaniel bathed in blood would not release him. Even though Nathaniel reached for him now as Hawk backed out the door.
“Wait. You must know my feelings are genuine. Don’t tell me you’re listening to what Tully said! Yes, perhaps when we began, I thought I could improve my odds. Surely you know now—”
“Our time is at an end. I will secure the ransom for my crew. I must. And you must stay safe.” He kept Nathaniel at arm’s length with a firm hand and gripped the door handle with the other. “I’m sorry for the things I said. You’re not a whore. Nor an imbecile. The farthest thing from it.”
He closed the door and turned the key decisively, ignoring Nathaniel’s pounding and plea that they speak. Hawk hadn’t earned peace, but if it was the last thing he did, he would see Nathaniel have his chance at it.
“It’s time.” Hawk stood inside the cabin door, Nathaniel already hurtling toward him from where he’d been pacing by the dark windows, a force of nature as he barreled straight into Hawk’s arms, reaching around to shove the door closed.
“No. Not like this. You’ve left me in here all bloody day, and we must speak. I don’t want to go. I can’t live on Primrose Isle and marry Elizabeth Davenport. Can’t do my father’s bidding. I won’t.” He shook his head, desperation shining in wild eyes. “But it’s more than that.” He leaned in closer, fingers digging into Hawk’s flesh. “I want to be with you. I must be with you.”
Hawk’s chest constricted painfully, allowing the dream of a future bright with Nathaniel’s smile to take hold for a moment, allowing the idea of peace and joy to flicker through him before he snuffed it out. “No. This isn’t…”
“What? Is this the part where you hurl more cruel taunts you don’t mean? I don’t care how mad it is, I want to be with you. And I know you want to be with me.”
With effort, he pried Nathaniel’s fingers loose and stepped back, keeping him at a distance with hands firm on his shoulders. “And you’ll what? Join me in a life of piracy? You don’t want that.”
“No, I don’t.” But before Hawk could say that settled it, Nathaniel surged forward, wrapping his arms around Hawk’s waist, peering up so earnestly that Hawk couldn’t push him away.
Nathaniel said, “You don’t want to be a pirate either. You never did.” He sucked in a breath. “But I would do it if it meant being at your side. I want to stir in your arms at dawn and yield to you at night. I want the freedom to spend our days as we wish, without judgment. In as much peace as we can muster, wherever that may be.”
Hawk’s heart thumped. It was too good to be possible. “You don’t mean that. Not really.”
“You truly think I’m lying? Wrapping you around my finger, like Tully said? After all this?” He squeezed his arms around Hawk’s waist, gaze imploring. “I admit that when I first lay with you, it crossed my mind. How could it not? You’d threatened to kill me. My sister. I thought it might be more difficult for you if we grew closer. But I always wanted you. That was always true. It always will be.”
Through the door, Snell shouted, “Captain! We’re ready for the exchange! Bring the prisoner to the deck!” He burst in and stumbled to a stop, blinking at them. He huffed, exasperation clear. “Enough of this!”
Enough.
But Nathaniel held fast, gaze steady—challenging. “Will you still gut me like a fish if he doesn’t pay?”
Part of Hawk wanted to retreat and roar a false threat like a pirate captain should, to not give a fuck about this young man from another world, whom he never should have touched. Whom he never should have allowed to touch him.
“I know you won’t,” Nathaniel whispered. “I’ve known it for weeks. This is real between us. You can get the ransom from my father, and we can meet somewhere in a few weeks’ time. We can be together. You can leave this life.”
