Page 176 of 7+Us Makes Nine

“Well, I was attracted physically to you, but I thought you were a jerk.”

“Ouch. This honesty is killing me.”

She giggled. “I wouldn’t want to boost your ego.” She winked. “So I didn’t want to get involved with you then. Only later, I realized there is something about you that makes me want to be with you. For good.”

“Is that why you have changed your mind? You realized you can’t stay away from me?”

“Maybe. Actually, I felt miserable. I was supposed to be in control of my life and live it the way I’ve always wanted it… But instead of being happy with the choice I made, I felt empty. Suddenly, my choice didn’t feel like mine anymore. I made it for my job, for Carter. But I needed to make it for me.”

“I said to myself that I wouldn’t look for you anymore, but it was so hard. That morning was a major let down because I’d finally figured out how I felt about you. It wasn’t and isn’t just about sex.” My fingers traced her neck. “I care about you.”

“So what is our relationship, Merritt? I want us to figure it out together because I’m at a loss here. Are we lovers? Partners? Friends with benefits?”

“We’re definitely not friends with benefits.”

“Then what are we?”

“I want to take you out. Be a couple. Do you want that?”

“Yes. I want to date you.” She frowned, sighing.

“But…”

“But?”

“There is a but, right?”

“Right. The thing is, I want us to be together, but I also know I don’t want our relationship to hurt either of our careers. I’m afraid that if we got together it would only complicate things more and one of us or both would suffer at work. And we have to own up to all of this with Carter.”

I ran my finger across her lip, cheeks, and eyebrows, following the slow movement with my eyes. There was a faint flush on her cheeks that was left from our love making, which made her more desirable.

“I know. I was thinking about the same thing. I wouldn’t want you to regret being with me. There is a big possibility that us being together would ruin your career. I wouldn’t want you to lose your job or have your name dragged across the newspapers. And don’t worry about Carter, I can handle him.”

I sighed and continued. “The truth is that the relationships like ours are pretty damn hard considering the nature of our jobs. I’m a congressman and any wrong move can make my career spiral down. I have to be careful about what I say or do, especially with all that The Playboy of Washington bullshit.”

She giggled and snuggled closer to me. “Well, your lifestyle certainly doesn’t help your reputation.”

“My former lifestyle.”

“Is it? Former, I mean.”

“One hundred percent former.” I gazed into her eyes, wanting her to see the honesty of my words in mine. “Now that I have you I don’t need anyone else, Camilla. I don’t want anyone else.”

“I trust you, I really do, but it’s a bit hard for me to believe it. I mean, you aren’t famous as a playboy for no reason.”

“I know, but I’m changing. I’m not the same man as I was before you. And even then, I wanted to find someone who would mean more to me than just a one-night stand. Then I saw you and you made me go crazy.” I tapped her nose. “But you already know that.”

“Yeah, I do.” Her smile ebbed into a frown. “So, what can we do? We obviously can’t go out in public and say we’re dating. At least, not for now.”

“Then we’ll keep it a secret,” I proposed, and she sat up, facing me.

My gaze flickered to her exposed breasts, and for a few moments my mind trailed off the topic at hand.

“What do you think?” I asked her in an unusually raspy voice.

“I think that’s a solid idea. That way we don’t have to worry about anything else.”

“Then that means that we can’t appear together in public. We won’t have any dates outside of our apartments and at work we’ll have to keep it completely professional. I know that’s maybe too much to ask—”

---