Page 86 of 5+Us Makes Seven

“Was the babymoon weekend. I know, I know. But I don’t know if the kids are ready.”

“Is it the kids you’re worried about, or you?” he asked.

I turned on my pump as I closed my eyes. Yes, I was worried about the kids. Of course I was worried about the kids. But… I was a little concerned about something else as well.

And Carter was finally starting to pick up on it.

“Look, I know the doctor cleared me for sexual activity, but I’m not sure if I’m ready to delve back into that facet of our relationship yet,” I said.

“I’m not asking you to,” he said. “All I’m asking is to take the mother of my children and the woman I love out for a nice dinner.”

“I don’t think I’m going to fit in any of the dresses I have.”

“I’m sure there’s an outfit in there that will fit your body perfectly.”

“I’ve changed. A lot, Carter.”

“And you think that makes me see you differently?”

“I don’t know. Does it?” I asked.

I watched Carter scoot his chair closer to me before he took my hand. He brought it to his lips like he always did when trying to comfort me, and he kissed every knuckle on my hand. I snickered and shook my head before I looked down at what I was wearing. A loose t-shirt covered in baby puke, my boobs hanging out into a breast pump, and sweatpants that were two days old.

That I’d also slept in the night before.

“I’m not with you for your body, or your appearance, or even for how you see yourself. I’m with you because of your smile. Because of your laughter. Because of the light you bring to my life every time I wake up next to you. You are just as beautiful as the day you walked into my office for that interview, Natasha.”

“I’m hardly as beautiful as I was before my body ripped itself open for two kids,” I said.

“No,” he said. “You’re right. You’re more beautiful than the day you walked into my office. And all I’m asking is for one night to enjoy that beautiful woman I came to love with all my heart. Natasha, will you go on a date with me tonight?”

I giggled and shook my head before my eyes met his.

“You really know how to lay it on thick, Marshall.”

“So that’s a yes?” he asked.

“Yes,” I said. “I’ll go out with you tonight.”

“Good. I’ll go give my mother a call. She’ll be ecstatic to get some time with the twins.”

I watched him walk off with a pep in his step as I shook my head. His mother had been so unwavering in her love for those children. And part of me was excited to have some alone time with Carter. Life had been a whirlwind of doctor’s appointments and diagnoses that kept me in a bed for months on end, and we’d hardly had time out of this house to spend with one another.

And the more I thought about it, the more excited I became.

I just wasn’t sure what I was going to wear in the process.

I zoned out during all of the pumping that I didn’t catch the overflowing of the bottles connected to my boobs. I jumped up and shut off the pump, then disconnected it from my chest. My breasts flopped to my body as two deflated balloons, and I groaned as I looked at the stains on my pants.

I had really become a mess as a mother.

I poured the milk into freezable bags, then stuck them in the back. I cleaned out the pump as my shirt hung over my body, the milk drying on my pants. I set everything off to dry and made my way upstairs, and I could hear Carter still talking to his mother on the phone.

I enjoyed that he had such a good relationship with his parents.

I went into our room and stripped out of my clothes. I needed a shower and I needed it badly. I hadn’t taken one in almost three days and I could only imagine how I smelled standing next to someone. I turned on the hot water and sighed as the steam hit my body.

Then, I heard one cry waft into the stone shower.

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