Page 77 of 5+Us Makes Seven

“Only if you love him,” Clara said.

There was a part of me that wished we were getting married. I’d always envisioned being married one day. Having a family and my own career and good man at my side. But I hadn’t given it much thought since things were taken care of. Carter had taken me on financially without question and didn’t hesitate to provide the things I needed. New maternity clothes as I got bigger and medical expenses that were necessary for our appointments. Compression socks to keep my feet from swelling and random food runs when I was craving things.

He had been incredible, and the last thing I wanted to do was bring up some stupid thing like getting married before these kids got here. It was a societal standard thrust upon women who wanted to paint themselves as ‘right’ or ‘innocent’ or ‘ladylike’.

Too much had been going on to give it any thought.

But how was I supposed to boil all of that down to a four-year old?

“I do love your father,” I said. “But sometimes, things don’t always happen in order.”

“Do you wanna be married?” Clara asked.

“I always saw myself as a married woman, yes. But that doesn’t mean it has to happen. I care about your father. A lot. And I know he cares about me. We’re going to be one big happy family with all the love in the world to give one another. And for now? That’s enough.”

“If you get married, can I have a pretty dress?” Clara asked.

I giggled as I pulled her tightly into my side.

“Yes. You can have the prettiest dress ever,” I said.

For the first time in almost four months, Clara nuzzled into me. Like she used to before all of this happened. I watched her eyes close as I kissed her forehead, then soon after her small snores were heard coming from her lips. That had been her fear all this time. That I would somehow love my own children more than them. That she would become the modern-day version of some Cinderella fairy tale and be stuck with a woman that didn’t care about her at all.

It broke my heart to think she had been walking around with that for so long.

I laid down next to Clara and closed my eyes. The rising and falling of her chest lulled me to sleep. I nuzzled my nose into her hair and breathed in her scent, memorizing the uniqueness of her before I slipped into a peaceful slumber.

And when I woke up with her in my arms and Carter wrapped around my body, my heart soared. His strong body was pressed into my back and his arm was wrapped as far around my stomach as he could get. His palm was splayed over my belly button, protecting our unborn children even while he slept. Clara’s lips were parted as she continued to sleep, her hair in her face and her eyes puffy from all the crying she had done last night.

I was encased between two of the most beautiful people on the planet.

I heard the pitter patter of small feet down the hallway before the door burst open. The boys launched themselves onto the bed, jumping and jostling the mattress. Carter groaned and Clara’s eyes flew open as a big smile crossed her cheeks. She got up with her brothers and started to bounce and I nuzzled closer into Carter’s warmth.

“Be careful, guys. Don’t jostle us too much. Natasha’s fragile right now,” he said.

“Nattie! Nattie! Nattie! Nattie!”

The kids were chanting my name and it caused laughter to fall from my lips. I turned my head back and caught Carter’s stare and watched as a grin spread across his cheeks. He leaned in and kissed me, softly and sensually as the kids jumped around us. They butt-slammed onto the bed and kicked their feet, then wiggled their way in between our bodies.

“I want a kiss!” Joshua said.

“Daddy! Wake up!” Clara said.

“Kissing’s gross,” Nathaniel said. “I’ll take a hug.”

“Good. Because I’m the best hugger,” I said.

This was the family I wanted. The wild, crazy, early morning family. Where the kids loved us enough to come jump on the bed and intimacy had to be stolen in every moment we were afforded. The insane family that piled more kids than adults into the car every weekend to drive out and cheer on ball teams and the family that had to scoot tables together in restaurants in order to eat out. The massive family that needed to add chairs to the dining room table in order to accommodate everything for Thanksgiving and Christmas dinners.

Married woman or not, this was the family I wanted.

Married woman or not, I was in this for the long haul.

Because as the kids settled between us and their hands started rubbing my stomach, I saw a light in their eyes I hadn’t seen before. I saw excitement and happiness and a positive anxiety about the change that was coming our way.

And the loving look in Carter’s eyes was one I would forever commit to memory.

“Good morning,” he said as a smile spread across his face.

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