Page 53 of 5+Us Makes Seven

Then the movements stilled and the car started up.

I watched her car until it disappeared out of sight. Down the hill of the driveway and onto the main road. She was gone. The woman I had allowed to come in and strengthen our lives was gone. And on one hand, I could’ve told her ‘no’. That she couldn’t have taken the job because s

he was working with me. But I was her employer, and unless I had a good enough business reason to keep her with me, I couldn’t deny her want to quit.

But part of me wished I had.

Part of me wished I had found a reason to keep her around. Part of me wished I had told her my plans for her. Maybe then she would’ve stayed. Had she known I was going to increase her salary and move her in, maybe she would’ve elected to stay with us. But part of me wanted her to stay because she wanted to. Part of me wanted her to stay because she felt connected to us in the way we had felt connected to her.

And it was obvious she wasn’t.

“Daddy?”

I turned around at the sound of Nathaniel’s voice.

“What is it, buddy?” I asked.

“Could we go visit Miss Nattie in Africa?”

“I don’t think so, buddy. She’s going to a really dangerous part of the country,” I said.

“But Mom always wanted to go to Africa.”

“How do you know that?” I asked.

“I remember her asking about it all the time,” he said.

I held my arm out for my son and he cradled himself against me. I bit into my apple as I gazed out onto the empty pavement. That place had been filled with Natasha’s car for the past ten months. Like it had been cemented and laid specifically for her to fill. I heard Nathaniel sniffle and it caused me to tighten my grip around him. Hoping that if I held him closely enough, I could suck the sadness out of him and transfer it to me.

“Why did she leave?” Nathaniel asked.

And it killed me that I didn’t have an answer for him.

“I don’t know, buddy,” I said with a sigh. “I really don’t.”

Seventeen

Natasha

I immersed myself into packing up the last of my things so I could forget about my encounter with the children. It didn’t go at all like I thought it would, and now I had a clear reason as to why Carter had done what he had done. I thought he had hired the new nanny out of spite. But really, it had been to spare the emotions of his children. It didn’t occur to me that they would beg me to stay. That this would’ve somehow been hard on them. With all the changing of nannies they’d had over the course of the past three years, I figured this would be another easy transition for them.

But it wasn’t.

I loaded up the last of the boxes in my car and took them to the storage unit. I was set to leave for Africa in the morning, which meant I had to turn my keys in to the front office before I left. I needed to dust and scrub down the bathroom as well as mop. I wanted there to be no issues with me turning the apartment back over to the complex so I could cut ties cleanly and easily.

I didn’t want to remember any of this.

I didn’t want to remember how much this hurt.

I stashed the rest of my things in the apartment, then put my suitcase in my car. That was it. Except for my laptop bag and the three blankets I was using to sleep on the floor, that was all she wrote. I sighed as I brought out the last of the cleaning supplies I had, then I swiftly got to work. I dusted down the ledges and washed the windows. I scrubbed the sink and the tub and even the toilet. Sweat was dripping down my face and my thighs were chafing.

I opened some windows to get air circulating when my head started to grow dizzy from the cleaners.

A knock came at my door and I groaned. My back hurt and my feet were sore and I still had the floor to mop. The knock came again, only this time it was more frantic.

So I put down my scrubber, wiped my hands on my shirt, and headed for the door.

I whipped it open, fully expecting to see Emma. I knew she was going to stop by at some point in time today for one last girl’s night before I left. I drew in a deep breath and brushed my sweaty hair back from my face, my eyes connecting with the feet outside.

---