Page 292 of 5+Us Makes Seven

I looked to the wall, wanting to see anything except his face, those blue eyes.

“This was a mistake,” I said, still looking away.

“Mistake? What do you mean? You wanted…”

“I know,” I snapped, cutting him off. “Will you please just leave?”

Guilt and shame mixed, forming an emotional cocktail I wasn’t ready to deal with, not with him still naked in my bed. Out of the corner of my eye, I saw him crawl off the bed.

“What the hell?”

“Go, please,” I said.

“You wanted this too. I thought…”

His voice trailed off. I pulled a cover over my naked body.

Why am I so ashamed right now?

Tears welled up in my eyes.

“Will you please leave? I’ll call you later.”

I glanced up at him.

“Whatever…Where’s your bathroom?”

“There,” I said, pointing.

“This is messed up, Jade.”

I said nothing, a melting pot of emotions going through my body.

“You’re making me feel used,” he said in a joking tone, still not taking me seriously.

“Welcome to my world,” I said angrily. “Please leave, okay?”

He grabbed his clothes then left the room. Tears flowed.

Why the hell am I crying? That was so wonderful.

Not understanding why I was so upset made it so much worse.

When I heard him leave a few minutes later, practically slamming my front door, I laid back and cried, letting everything out. It wasn’t him, but he had opened a floodgate that would not be closed easily. The mix of joy and sadness confused the hell out of me.

All my problems had started after I got back from Afghanistan. I had seen brutality, the mistreatment of women and so much more.

None of my life made sense after I had returned from that dirty, dusty, crazy country. Gradually, the tears dried up, but I still felt terrible.

Cooper will never speak to me again. Not after that outburst. I don’t blame him. I’m such a mess! The sadness turned to self-loathing.

I thought about calling and begging him to come back, trying to explain how crazy my life had become after meeting him over there, but I didn’t.

Why would someone perfect like him want a problem-woman like myself?

The answer would not come.

FIFTEEN

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