Page 40 of Can This Be Love?

‘Sometimes, I begin to doubt us … but your words … they … you rock, Koochie,’ he said, grinning from ear to ear.

I thwacked his head with my purse.

‘Bhabhiji!’ he squealed and pinned my hands behind my back.

11.00 a.m.

I won’t open the email account.

1.00 p.m.

I won’t.

2.00 p.m.

I should not.

3.00 p.m.

I should not and I will not.

4.00 p.m.

Is there any harm in just reading the subject line?

5.00 p.m.

No.

7.00 p.m.

Subject line – ‘My deepest regret and a picture’.

Dear Kasturi,

I have many regrets, but the biggest is the way I treated you. I will never forgive myself and I spend a lot of my time and energy, trying to become the person you thought I was.

The one person very happy about this is my

mother, who speaks very fondly and very often about you.

I am also sending you a picture from yesterday. This is with Jon, who heads the mergers desk, at BNP Paribas, here in Europe. I worked very closely with him in the last few weeks and, right before this picture was taken, he asked me what kept me so motivated all the time. I smiled and said nothing and he asked me if it was a girl. I said yes, her name is Kasturi.

He smiled knowingly. Only he did not know the entire story. If he did, he would be shocked.

I miss you terribly … more so with each passing day.

Rajeev.

I opened the attachment and stared at the suited-up Rajeev. His diamond ear-studs were gone and he had started wearing spectacles which gave him a very intellectual look. A lot of things about him were very obviously different. The only thing that remained the same was that he continued to look utterly handsome.

9.00 p.m.

‘Dad! Sorry, I missed your call,’ I said, as I washed dirty utensils with the phone stuck between my right ear and shoulder.

‘What are you doing? What’s that noise?’

‘Washing dishes.’

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