Page 52 of Turned Out by His Hood Mentality 1

I could use somebody’s face to take out all of this pent-up energy that I had built up in me. A month had passed since the miscarriage, and it just still felt so fresh to me. I really felt that if I didn’t know anything about the baby that Monterius could possibly have on the way, I would have been able to deal with this a little better. Knowing that I lost a baby, yet there was a bitch out there who could be giving him another one just angered me.

I didn’t want to believe that we serve a petty God. I didn’t want to believe that the abortion I snuck and got two years ago was the cause of my miscarriage. I really just wanted to believe that it was an unfortunate case of an ectopic pregnancy like the doctor told me. Leave it to me to think so much deeper into this whole thing. It was so fucked up how it happened because I’d literally just made my first prenatal appointment the day before the miscarriage happened. I’d literally just begun to accept the fact that I was going to go through with having my baby, and then boom, I was robbed of that chance.

Since the miscarriage, I couldn’t stand to be back in that house. Although Monterius had the cleaners come out and do a deep clean, I swore that I could still smell all the blood that I had lost in the living room. I was back at my mama’s house, and pretty soon, I was going to look for a spot of my own for Dream and me. When I say that I was done with this fuck nigga, I meant it. Yeah, he reaches out to me every chance he gets, but the nigga was only doing it because he felt fuckin’ guilty about his new baby that would be here in a couple of months. I loved Monterius so much that my heart beats for him, but I was done with the nigga.

“They look so pretty. Let me see your toes too,” I said to Dream.

She kicked her leg out and showed me her pretty feet. We had been out since ten this morning; our day started in the hair salon. While she got her hair braided by one of the stylists, I got my hair washed and blown out. These days, I embraced my natural hair. This was my first time out of the house in weeks.

When I woke up this morning, I felt the need to get out of the house and pamper myself. For the past few weeks, I had been looking rough. In the middle of me admiring my niece’s feet, my phone started buzzing on my lap. It was a Facetime call from Billionaire. I laughed because this nigga just didn’t how to call somebody regular. It’s like he had to see your face when he talked to you.

I answered and immediately picked up on how loud his background was.

“Boy, where you at?” I asked, squinting to get a good look, but I really couldn’t tell.

“My kids got me out at Extreme Action Park. Where you at? Slide through with Dream. We just got here,” Billion told me.

I smiled because no matter what, he was just a good father.

“We’ll be leaving the nail salon soon, and then we’re gonna come,” I told him.

Dream was jumping up and down because she had been all up in my damn mouth the entire time. She loved going to Extreme Action Park, getting on the trampolines, skating, and playing around in the little arcade. We did what I wanted to do this morning, so I wouldn’t mind taking her to have fun with her other cousins.

“Aight, cool. I’ll see you when you get here,” he told me, and then he ended the phone call.

In exactly ten more minutes, we were leaving the nail salon. Luckily, where we were going wasn’t really far, so it would only take fifteen minutes or so. In the middle of the ride, my phone started ringing through the Bluetooth in the car. I smiled when I saw that it was the prison calling, so I knew it was Loyal about to do her afternoon check-in. I went through the steps of answering the phone for her.

“Hi, Mommmmyyyyy,” Dream cooed from the backseat.

Sadly, she knew the drill, so she knew it was her mother calling.

“Hi, beautiful girl. I miss you so much. I’m going to see you next weekend. I love you,” Loyal said to her daughter.

I picked up on the sadness in her voice, and I was sure she was going to vent to me and tell me what was up.

“I love you too, Mommy. I miss you more,” Dream told her, melting my heart.

“Take me off speaker, Twink. I need to talk to you, and I don’t want Dream to hear me,” Loyal said as I jumped on the turnpike.

I took the phone off speaker and prepared myself for whatever she was getting ready to drop on me.

“Where is Chase? I been calling the nigga since I was allowed to do my first call this morning. I called his ass four times, and he didn’t answer the phone. I called him twice just now before I called you. It’s the weekend, and he doesn’t have Dream. I know he’s with a bitch. This what I get for being so fuckin’ naïve and thinking that a nigga was going to wait for me while I did this time. I swear, I’m beginning to hate his ass,” she voiced, and then her voice cracked.

I knew my sister well enough to know that she wasn’t going to cry with me over the phone, though, because that’s just how she was. I said it before that she wasn’t going to show her vulnerable side to anyone. I let her get her venting out of the way while I just listened because I knew that’s what she wanted me to do anyway. When Loyal vented, she didn’t want you siding with her, nor did she want you disagreeing; she just wanted you to listen.

“Anyway, enough about me. You still haven’t been talking to Monterius?” she asked.

“No. Fuck him!” I whispered, not wanting Dream to hear me cursing.

Loyal laughed at what I said like it was funny.

“The question is, is that what you did yesterday. Fuck him? You know it was Valentine’s Day, and bitches were giving up pussy all around the world,” she said, and I cracked up laughing at her.

“No. He sent a bunch of stuff over to the house yesterday for me that’s still in the living room. I won’t even rip a corner of the wrapping paper to see what the nigga got me, that’s how through I am. Your nosey ass mama been trying to get me to open at least one of the gifts, so I can see what’s inside, but I’m not,” I told her.

She let out a grunt at the mention

of our mother.

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