Page 91 of Well Played

“Good.” He set his glass down and wiped his palms on his pants. “I don’t know why I’m so nervous.”

His eyes reflected a rare vulnerability that I only remembered seeing in the early days of our relationship, before the injury changed him.

I stayed quiet as he started talking.

“I don’t expect you to give me your trust any time soon, Presley. I know I have to earn that back and then some. But I want to work toward that.”

“You only have to worry about earning Alex’s trust back,” I said.

“And I plan to. But I’m not only here to reconnect with Alex.” His eyes seared into mine. “My hope is that we can repair what we lost.”

Sweat beaded on my forehead. “Tanner—”

“Please hear me out.” He took a long gulp of wine. “I know I’ve messed up more than once. And you don’t owe me another chance. But I am trying very hard to change and be the kind of man you’ve always deserved. As I told my brother this morning, I’m getting older now, and my priorities are clearer than ever.”

My heart dropped to my stomach. “You spoke to Levi about this?”

“Yeah. We talked for a bit before my interview this morning. He said he’s going through some stuff, too.”

Feeling woozy, I blinked. “What stuff?”

“He wouldn’t elaborate, but it sounded like a life crisis—similar to mine. You know, he and I aren’t all that different. We’reboth getting older and wiser and realizing the lives we’re living may not be what we want long term.” He exhaled. “I talked to him about my desire to get my family back.”

I stayed silent, barely remembering to breathe.

“I don’t want to be that single guy anymore, Presley. I want a family. And not just any family—myfamily. You and Alex. You’re the only family I have, and the only one I will ever want.”

My head felt like it was spinning. While I’d known Tanner was trying to get back in my good graces and had been somewhat flirtatious, I hadn’t truly believed he wanted us to get back together.

He had no clue just how complicated things were.

“I don’t know what to say,” I managed.

“Are you seeing someone?” he asked.

I skirted his question. “Tanner, I don’t see the two of us ever getting back together.”

“Why are you shutting the door on the possibility?”

“I’ve grown. I’m a different woman than I used to be. I know more about myself and what I want. Not to mention, we just didn’t work.”

“Wedidwork before I fucked everything up. Please try to remember that. There was a time when you loved me. And I’ve never stopped lovingyou.”

My only response to that was to down the rest of my wine. I could have lied and told him I didn’t want a relationship with anyone. But that wasn’t the truth. Telling him the actual truth—that I was only interested in a relationship with the other Miller—wasn’t an option. And knowing Tanner had spoken to Levi about me this morning explained Levi’s disappearing act. That made me even more scared of what might have been running through Levi’s head today.

“You know what?” Tanner said after a moment. “I can be patient. This conversation was more about me stating my intent. I don’t expect you to take me back right now or even respond to any of this. But I want to let you know how serious I am. I’m here for Alex andyou,Presley. I don’t plan to see anyone else, even if you’re telling me you won’t give me a chance. I’m choosing to hold out hope, and I want to save myself for you.”

That’s insane.“You’re setting yourself up for disappointment, Tanner.”

I did wonder what my reaction to this would have been if Levi and I hadn’t happened. Even though Tanner had given me many reasons not to trust him, I did feel like he was being genuine right now. Was it possible he had changed and was as determined to get me back as he claimed? Maybe. Might I have caved and been open to giving him another chance if things were different? I couldn’t rule out that possibility. But the reality was, I had changed. I couldn’t erase what I’d learned about my wants and needs over the past couple of months with Levi, who’d made me feel things I’d never experienced. It wasthatfire I longed for. Even if things were about to end with Levi and me, because of him, I would always know what that level of passion felt like. And I knew I deservedthat, which was certainly more than what Tanner had to offer.

“Like I said…” He took my glass and poured me more wine. “I don’t expect you to be open to this yet. I’m just letting you know I’m not going anywhere this time.”

I shook my head. “Please continue to focus on Alex and not me. I’m not interested in anything more than improving our relationship as co-parents. That’s definitely something I’d be open to working on.”

“We’ll start there.” He winked. “But I’m still gonna hold out hope.”

The tension remained thick as we stayed on the porch and made small talk after Tanner’s revelation.

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