Page 89 of Well Played

He shook his head. “God, I feel like such a crappy brother. I’ve done nothing but unload all of my stuff on you since the second I arrived, and I haven’t bothered to stop long enough to figure out that you’re not okay.”

Sure.He’sthe crappy brother.

My damn emotions were all over the place. One second I wanted to tell him about Presley and me in order to stake my claim, and the next, I wanted to protect my baby brother from ever finding out. The latter was where I stood at the present moment.

He made it worse when he said, “Listen, I have to apologize to you, Levi.”

I held out my palm. “No, you don’t.”

“Yes, I do.” He sighed. “I’ve intentionally alienated myself from you over the years because I couldn’t handle your success. I’m your freaking brother. You don’t do that to your only sibling—erase him from your life because you can’t seem to be happy for him. My therapist has helped me learn that your success has nothing to do with my lack of it. You deserve every one of your wins. I’m sorry I was insecure for so many years, and that I wasted precious time I could’ve spent cheering you on from the sidelines. That’s where I should’ve been all along, not off in my own world with my head stuck up my ass. I—”

“Tanner, stop.” The guilt inside of me felt like it was overflowing and about to burst. “I always understood why you stayed away. I don’t blame you for any of it and can’t say I would’ve acted any differently if I were you.”

“You know,” he said. “It hit me on the plane ride down here. Dad and Gramps are both gone. You and I—we’re the only Millers left besides Alex. That’s a big responsibility. We should be setting an example that family sticks together no matter what. It’s not too late to do that.”

“Yeah, well, it takes two. I haven’t exactly been there for you either.”

“No, but you’ve been there for my son as of late. I want to thank you for that. And you at least made an effort to reach out to me these past few years while I’ve alienated you. I’m the one responsible for our relationship turning sour. But I’m not hiding anymore, and I want to do better.”

At a loss, I nodded and bit my lip.

“So, you don’t want to tell me what’s going on with you?” he prodded.

Tanner’s seemingly genuine interest in wanting to help me with my “problem” was like salt in my guilty wound. What had been so clear to me yesterday seemed like an impossibility now. Had I been crazy for thinking I could start a life with Presley with no serious repercussions?

“I’m a little lost right now,” I finally said. “I thought I loved my life until I came back here and realized everything that was missing from it. You could say I’m working things out in the same way you seem to be trying to.”

My brother nodded. “Maybe all of this is just a reflection of us getting older,” he said. “You start to see things more clearly, including the mistakes you’ve made. I’m realizing just how much being stuck in my own head has cost me. But I’m determined to get it all back, Levi. Not only my son’s trust, but Presley’s too. I love that woman. Never stopped. I just didn’t know how to be the man she deserved. I truly feel like I’ve changed, that I’m ready to be that man.”

Pain shot through my neck, and I rubbed the back of it. There it was—confirmation of my worst fear. I couldn’t manage to conjure up a response to that. Instead, I changed the subject, my head spinning.

“What time is your appointment?”

He looked down at his phone. “Shit. I actually have to hurry up.” He headed toward the door but turned around one last time. “I’m not done with this conversation, okay?” He pointed at me. “You and me, we’re gonna talk later tonight and figure out our shit—together.” He patted his chest and winked. “Miller strong.”

I forced a smile before he disappeared down the hall. Grabbing my pillow, I placed it over my face as I fell back on the bed. My heart pounded as I breathed into the fabric.

Presley was right. Telling him would be a huge mistake. My brother had definitely fucked up in his lifetime. But he didn’t deserve to hear that I’d moved in on his family while he wasn’t looking. He didn’t deserve that at all.

I didn’t know what to do. I seemed to be waking up from the stupor I’d been in and doubting for the first time whether I could betray him, no matter how much I loved Presley. At the same time, losing her was unimaginable.

I couldn’t remember wanting anything in my life as much as I wanted her—not only her, but alifewith her. It wasn’t only about me or what I wanted, though, was it? We had Alex to think about—and honestly, Tanner. He might not have deserved her, but he was still my brother, and I owed him loyalty. It was easier to discount that fact when I thought he didn’t care. But now that I knew he apparentlydid, that he wanted to be a better man—it was a game changer.

My phone chimed, interrupting my thoughts.

I looked down to find a text from Presley. My chest tightened.

Presley: Tanner left the house. Can you come to my room?

I had no idea whether she just wanted to talk or whether she was looking for somethingelse. But as much as I wanted to be with her right now, I wasn’t ready to face her until I better understood what the realization I’d had today meant for us. I couldn’t risk getting any deeper into things if I was only going to walk away—even if leaving was the last thing I wanted.

It caused me literal pain to type the words.

Levi: I have a busy day today. I can’t. I’m sorry.

CHAPTER 22

Presley

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