Page 64 of The Holiday Ex-Files

“That’s what makes you perfect. This woman and you have eerily similar pasts.” He wasn’t giving up.

This was my opportunity to see if it really was Annika. “Did her husband cheat on her too?” I grabbed my stomach.

Noah nodded gravely.

“With someone she knew?”

He nodded again.

Yep, it was Annika.

“I’m sorry to hear that.” Truly I was, even if half of me was jealous.

Let’s be honest, lady, three-fourths of us.

Please keep your opinions to yourself. Thank you and goodbye. I tried to dismiss my nemesis.

“What more do you want to know about my situation?” I asked. “I mean, you kind of had a front-row seat for it all.”

“It’s a ticket I never wanted,” he said with an air of protectiveness. “That said, if you would be willing to open up and give me some deeper insight, I’d really appreciate it.” He was practically begging me. He must really have it bad for this woman.

I wanted to be a good friend, but did he know what he was asking of me?

“Please, Cams?”

I hemmed and hawed some more. This was serious business. It might actually make me confront my past head-on. Who wanted that?

He sighed before giving me a wicked grin. “You never did send a condolence card.”

See! I told you so, Miss Sparkly gleefully derided me. But really, you should talk to him. Be honest with him, and yourself. Please.

“Okay. Fine.”

Chapter Twenty-One

Uh . . . Ex-Filers, I’m about to enter a corn maze with this sign at the entrance: Do what scares you until it doesn’t. Not sure this bodes well for me. Wish me luck.

Lots of love,

Cami

Honestly, how apropos was that sign? Not sure who thought it was a good idea to place a sign like that in front of a maze you could get lost in for hours. It gave me second and third thoughts about entering, and not because I was worried about getting lost—at least not physically. Emotionally drowning was definitely a possibility.

Noah said his goodbyes to Shanna, who had called to check on the boys. I felt guilty for shirking my duty with them. Not to say I didn’t trust my parents with them. They were certified pros. I just wished the boys were with us so I could be fun Cami and give them silly answers to the hundreds of questions they asked—instead of having to face the hard questions I knew their uncle was going to throw at me.

“Sorry about that.” Noah shoved his phone in his pocket.

“No worries. Feel free to take or make as many calls as you need to.” I was totally serious.

Noah chuckled. “You’ll be fine.”

Easy for him to say.

He waved his arm toward the entrance. “Ready?”

“Nope.” Inside that maze lived part of my past. Beautiful parts and ugly parts that both scared me.

Noah studied me for a moment, as if I perplexed him. His eyes searched my own, looking for the map to the maze that was my life. I supposed he thought if he could figure me out, he could better understand the woman he loved.

Noah pointed at the maze. “Ben’s not in there.” Then he gently rested his finger on my forehead. “Ben’s in there. Don’t you think it’s time to let him go?”

“I’ve tried,” I whispered. If you count running away from everything connected to him, even myself.

“Let’s try harder, together.”

Please. I have this feeling he could help us, Miss Sparkly implored.

You just like him, I argued.

I do like him. Very much. And so do you. Can’t you feel his goodness?

He’s in love with someone else.

This has nothing to do with that. Think about every time he’s been there for us.

That’s a lot of times, but how do we trust our feelings? That was the million-dollar question.

Do what the sign says. Do what scares us until it doesn’t anymore.

Easy for you to say, you’re on the inside.

Let me out.

Miss Sparkly didn’t know how tempting that sounded. I let out a deep breath. “Lead the way.”

“How about we do this side by side?” He offered a better alternative.

I liked that. A lot.

We fell in step, side by side, as we walked through the maze’s wide entrance, which significantly narrowed the farther we got in. That didn’t stop teenagers from whizzing past us. It meant a lot of bumping into Noah. Which wasn’t bad. He smelled delicious and was a steadying force. Which was good as I grappled with my thoughts, trying not to let Ben overcome them. But then I wondered if I should just let my mind live out his memories. Maybe it just needed to work him out of our system, but I was always stopping it because it was painful and it scared me.

We came to our first crossroads where we had to choose whether we went left or right. Once we decided to go left, that’s when the questions came.

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