Page 32 of The Holiday Ex-Files

“Han Solo outfit?”

“You know, the high boots, jeans, vest.”

I laughed for a second before I said, “I don’t know about this.”

He shrugged. “Fine, but you’re going to keep beating yourself up about being a terrible friend.”

He was right, but I was still wary. “I’ll think about it.”

“Great. While you think, I’ll pop some popcorn, and you pick a movie.”

“You’re staying?”

“Yeah. That’s what friends do.” He stood and walked toward the kitchen.

I turned and watched him, so at ease in my kitchen, like he owned the place.

He’s good for you. Miss Sparkly had to have her say.

I had some things to say to her too. After all, she disappeared for a reason. Are you sure you want him to open the doors you’ve been hiding behind?

I’m ready to let him in. Are you?

I’ll let you know.

Chapter Ten

Dear Ex-Filers, happy Saturday. I know the weekends are hard for so many of you. Here’s some food for thought. Think of starting a relationship like getting a variable rate mortgage. At first everything is great. You get a beautiful home for a low monthly payment. It all feels like a dream that’s too good to be true. That new-love feeling is so intoxicating, you brush over the fine print, thinking the rate will never change, or if it does, you’ll be able to afford it. So, you sign on the dotted line. But then, sneakily, the costs begin to rise. Your partner starts nitpicking you or spending more time with his buddies or on business trips he never had to go on before. You think, okay, I can still afford it, it’s no big deal. He’s right, I could lose a little weight, or he has to do what’s right for his career. Then little increases start to add up and deplete your self-worth. He’s gaslighting you, making you think it’s all in your head. You’re the crazy one. Then one day, BAM! The rate gets so high you’re underwater and unable to make any more payments because all your savings have been sucked dry like your soul. You’re upside down on your loan and in your life. He’s made you lose your sense of self until you don’t know who you are or if you even want to be who you were. The only closure you get is foreclosure—no house, no money, and the lingering debt.

Wow, so that was cheery. With that said, have a great weekend! And always read the fine print. If you do end up signing on the dotted line, I’ll be here winter, spring, summer, and fall to remove them all.

Lots of love,

Cami

I clicked publish before looking in my bathroom mirror and swiping on my favorite pink lip gloss. I smiled at my Han Solo outfit, complete with a white long-sleeved shirt, black puffy vest, tight jeans, and leather boots. It hit me that I looked like me. I bit my lip and stared a bit longer. “Hi,” I whispered while flipping my new do. “Are you ready for this?”

Outside of my Ex-Filers chapter events, Mara, monthly family dinners, and work, I didn’t brave going out into the world. Sometimes I even had my groceries delivered so I didn’t have to be around people. It was a far cry from who I used to be. To think, I used to go to the store hoping I would see someone I knew. I’d even had ice cream melt in my cart from talking so long to strangers.

Let’s do this, Miss Sparkly shouted. She was such a social butterfly.

I, on the other hand, was a bit nervous. I wasn’t even sure what Noah had planned—or what his sister had planned, I guess. Noah thought it would be better if it was a surprise. He said he didn’t want me to overthink it. I still thought about it all night. I questioned my sanity for saying yes. But it’s kind of hard to say no to a man who brings you pizza and your favorite soda and lets you stain his shirt with mascara. You should have seen my eyes. So embarrassing, but Noah never mentioned it.

He also promised to never mention that we watched Cosmetics and Crimes together. Mara would kill me if she knew I was cheating on her like that. Even though Noah and I only watched old episodes. Noah was intrigued with my latest pastime. Or more like disturbed. He kept scooting away from me on the couch like he was afraid I was taking mental notes on how to dissolve a body in acid. Soooo . . . I may have googled what acids dissolve what. I’m probably on some NSA watch list now. But good news, Coke will not dissolve your teeth. It’s an urban myth. Too bad, since Ben used to streamline the stuff. I would pay money to see him toothless. Except Claudia Cann can’t do Coke. Something about empty calories or some nonsense. The best-tasting calories are the empty ones.

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