Page 14 of The Holiday Ex-Files

My minions started chanting my name, “Aunt Cami! Aunt Cami!”

Normally I would have done something irreverent like made them sing a loud chorus of “Who Let the Dogs Out” to annoy their parents. Instead, I gave them all a weak smile while trying to calm myself. It didn’t help when I got to the sink and turned to see Noah looking between me and my dad, like he was torn about what to do. He didn’t need to do anything. Yet, Dad waved him down and mouthed something to him that I couldn’t make out. Next thing I knew, Dad was on his way over to me. The minions’ eyes all lit up. To them Grandpa meant pockets full of cash and candy that he loved to dole out. To the minions’ utmost dismay, he only gave a few pats on the head before nodding his head to the side, indicating he wanted me to follow him.

It made me feel even more pathetic. It didn’t help that all eyes now seemed to be on me. I knew what they were all thinking—she’s finally going to crack. She isn’t as happy as she pretends to be. News flash—they were right. But I could never be so wrong again.

Dad wrapped an arm around my shoulder and led me to his office, which had the perfect view of Aspen Lake. When we entered, the evening sun was filtering into the large windows, making the white walls shine more brightly. Dad veered us toward the wall covered in family pictures in an artsy sort of way. Mom loved the rustic look, and each frame was in a different hue of her beloved wood. The large wall was a history of the Jenkins family from weddings, births, graduations, and all the things in between. Dad planted us firmly in front of my college graduation picture. Dad had caught the perfect moment of me jumping in the air in my blue gown, tossing my cap up. The photo screamed elation.

I reached out to touch that girl. That girl believed the world was her oyster and she was going to eat it up. I had everything planned: engagement, marriage, becoming a world-renowned photographer, all while having four kids and running my own photography business. And of course, I was going to be a super wife and mom, just like my own mother. My children were all going to be adorable and have the best of Ben and me. I dropped my hand and rubbed my flat stomach. There was an emptiness there that never seemed to go away.

Dad rested his hands on my shoulders. His hands always brought comfort—even in my darkest days. Most people would find him quite distinguished, with his silver hair and athletic build, including my mother, who loved to call him her hunk, a hunk of burning love—Kellan got his Elvis obsession from Mom. Yet, no matter how handsome or successful my father was, the best part about him was that he was a family man first. We all knew it and loved him for it. “This is my favorite picture of you.”

“You always liked my shorter hair.” I ran my fingers through my long beachy waves. Ben wanted it long. Said it was more attractive that way. After we were married, he’d made me question so much about myself.

Dad kissed my head. “Honey, it has nothing to do with your hair.”

“Proud of how much air I got,” I teased.

Dad chuckled. “That was impressive. I’ve always said you have the best jump shot in the family. But that’s not what I’m talking about either. That young woman”—dad pointed at the photo—“never let anything or anyone get in the way of her dreams.”

I squirmed inside, knowing what he was getting at. “Maybe she got new dreams.”

“Perhaps. Which would be fine, if that’s what she really wanted.”

I swallowed hard. “What if she just learned they never come true?”

Dad spun me so I came face-to-face with his kind but concerned brown eyes. “Honey, you know that’s not true. You are a real live dream come to life for your mom and me.”

Wow. That was the most beautiful thing anyone had ever said to me. My eyes welled with tears. Of course, I had to add some humor to the moment. “Well, after all those boys—”

“It had nothing to do with you being a girl,” he interrupted. “It has everything to do with the kind of person you’ve become. You added the sparkle.”

“I don’t feel very sparkly.”

“What are you going to do about that?” Dad asked matter-of-factly.

“Uh . . .” Well, I didn’t know. I wasn’t sure if it was wise for me to do anything. Sparks could catch fire and I had already been burned.

“Let me give you some advice,” Dad jumped in to save me from my stupor of thought. “Those who are fearless aren’t that way because they’ve never been scared. It’s because they’ve stood in the face of fear and didn’t back down. I’ve never known you to back down. I would hate to see you start now.”

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