Page 96 of The Holiday Ex-Files

I laughed while she hunted down another coat. Meanwhile, my phone buzzed. I looked to see that Rachelle had messaged me. I hadn’t heard from her since her breakup with Dave.

Rachelle: Hey, I just read your puzzle post. Dave and I are headed to the airport for an early flight. He’s taking me to meet his parents. I know you probably think I’m crazy for getting back together with him, but some things are worth fighting for, even men. Anyway, I got the vibe that you have some difficult choices to make. I just wanted you to know that for me, the most beautiful puzzles are always the most complicated ones, and just because it’s hard it doesn’t mean it’s not right. I don’t know why, I just thought I should tell you that. Take care, Cami. Thanks for being a piece in my complicated puzzle.

I sniffled a bit. I apparently had the wisest friends of all.

I knew then what I had to do to complete my puzzle. Well, right after I stopped Mara from buying a tacky leopard-print coat.

Chapter Thirty-One

Dear Ex-Filers, I have made a grave, grave mistake. I thought it would be smart to use an at-home Brazilian wax kit. Let me repeat, this was a mistake of epic proportions. Please pray and send ice. And I beg you to never, ever do this to yourself.

Lots of love,

Cami

I clicked publish and lowered an ice bag onto my lady parts. This was not how I’d envisioned my night going. Not like I had huge plans, other than editing some photos I took. Yes, I had taken photos, and no, they were not of houses. That part of my life was done, seeing as Jay was already moving on with the firm. Apparently, he wanted to expand his horizons in the real estate game. Whatever that meant. I’m sure Mara would tell me more about it when she came over later to probably laugh at my predicament. She had tried to talk me off the crazy ledge of doing my own Brazilian wax. I should have listened to her.

Thankfully, while I was writhing in pain, I had the cutest children imaginable to look at. Those being my minions and then Jaxon and Liam. I hadn’t gotten to see Amayah and Camila yet, as they were still in the hospital until they learned how to eat, but Shanna, who was spending her time between home and the hospital, had shown me pictures. All I could say was they were the sweetest and made my ovaries scream that they wanted to make one. Funny, Shanna screamed that I should make one with her brother.

Noah. I swore I thought of him all the time, even though I hadn’t seen him since last week on Thanksgiving. I was still reliving every kiss and his words of love and acceptance. Sure, we’d talked, but he was trying to give me my space. I appreciated it more than he would know, even though I missed him. But I knew that I had to know who I was before I jumped into a relationship. Of course, Miss Sparkly was pretty adamant that we were her and I should get with the program already, but as much as I did love her, this other part of me lived, and there was a reason she kept sticking around.

With that said, I decided to start conquering some of the things I had been avoiding the last few years. To find my Christmas, as Noah called it. I started with doing some lifestyle shoots for the minions and the boys. My plan was to have some canvas prints made of my siblings’ kiddos as my Christmas gifts to them and my parents. Yep, I was doing Christmas gifts this year. Still no tree. They were still making me a bit rashy, though I had forced myself to go down the tree aisles at Hobby Lobby. It was only slightly painful, as I remembered how carefully I had chosen the last Christmas decorations I had ever purchased, in a muted green-and-red palette, for that fateful tree that Ben and Claudia had desecrated.

It was weird, but the thought of Noah eased a lot of the uncomfortableness as I strolled the aisles, trying to refrain from rearranging some of the ornaments. My mind had often drifted to him taking me to the Christmas tree farm and helping me pick out the perfect tree. He’d also helped me decorate it as we’d sung all the Christmas songs out loud. Who knew all that time he’d been torturing himself because he loved me, knowing he could never have me? Yet he’d done his best to make me smile, knowing how sad I was that Ben had neglected me and my annual traditions and chosen work, well really Claudia, instead. That was a special kind of love, more like the essence of love. For love is never supposed to be selfish.

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