Page 71 of The Holiday Ex-Files

“I know that. But there’s nothing to tell. Noah and I are friends with a capital F.”

“Just remember, we are best friends with a giant B.”

“You don’t know how grateful I am for that.” I hugged her, needing someone to hold on to for a moment. It wasn’t as comforting as I’d hoped, as my line of vision included Noah and Annika. They weren’t touching now, but Annika was animatedly talking with her hands. Noah seemed to be keenly paying attention to her. While I clung to Mara and studied the pair, the tagline to The Vampire Diaries popped into my head—Love sucks. Yep, with a capital S. Not that I was in love with Noah, but it was a reminder of how, often, when love begins to bloom, in the wake of that budding relationship is someone who feels as if they are wilting.

Yes! Miss Sparkly shouted. You are finally getting me.

I didn’t want to. I didn’t like this withering feeling inside. It was so confusing. Noah had always been my friend. But more-than-friendly feelings stirred within me as I looked at Noah and was reminded of his goodness. I had begun to wonder if all along it had been Noah who made Ben shine so bright. So bright I was blinded to the source.

Unfortunately, I gazed too long. Noah’s eyes zeroed in on me, as if he knew I had been shamelessly observing him. He flashed me his most charming smile and waved.

I was embarrassed he had caught me staring, so I let go of Mara and headed for the stage. I couldn’t get up there fast enough. Mara trailed behind me.

My first stop was at DJ Smiley’s booth. Smiley wore a sheepish smile. He’d totally gone off the rails. He was supposed to be playing Halloween classics like “Thriller”; instead, we were bumping to Bruno Mars’s “That’s What I Like.” Admittedly, I felt like breaking out some Bruno moves, but I refrained. I had some serious business to take care of first.

“I need a minute,” I shouted.

He gave me the thumbs-up before turning the music down, to the rowdy crowd’s dismay. It was amazing how differently people behaved when in costume and with the lights lowered. That felt like a metaphor for life that I should probably pay attention to. In fact, it felt like my marriage. Sometimes I wondered if dating-Ben and engaged-Ben were all just an act. That he stripped off each persona like a costume after we were married, to reveal his true self. I had no time to ponder that. It was showtime for me.

“All right, all right, listen up, our beautiful hostess and spy girl would like to impart some wisdom to all of you.”

I wasn’t sure how wise my words would be, but I took the mic DJ Smiley handed me. “Hello, Ex-Filers,” I shouted. Even though I knew they weren’t all Ex-Filers. There were quite a few men in the crowd, and our local chapter was mostly women, as were most of my online followers.

A deafening roar of greeting came back my way, making me grin and, for a brief moment, forget the ache inside of me that I was desperately trying to ignore.

“First of all, I want to say thank you for coming. Because of you, and those who donated online, we have already exceeded our goal of raising fifty thousand dollars for the women and children’s shelter. And the night is still young. Please be sure to check out the auction table to bid on the packages and gift baskets. All the money we raise tonight will not only help provide basic needs for these brave women and children, who find themselves in frightening and unknown circumstances, it will also provide crucial job training and childcare. Again, thank you. You are the most amazing group of people.”

Cheers and applause ensued.

“With that said,” I sang with an air of teasing, “I have a feeling I will be very busy in the near future cropping out some mistakes from tonight’s shenanigans.”

Everyone laughed.

“Anyway, I love you all. Please be careful and remember it’s okay to be a party of—”

Do not say it! Miss Sparkly interrupted me.

I have to say it. It’s my job. Whether you like it or not, it affords us our cozy condo on the slopes.

You could be doing lifestyle shoots. Remember how good we are at those?

I can’t do this with you right now. “One,” I squeaked out, since someone was strangling my vocal cords.

I received another round of applause before I handed the mic back to DJ Smiley. He wasted no time cranking the tunes back up. I felt the bass course through my bones.

Mara and I stood on the stage for a moment longer, looking over the crowd. Okay, mainly we stared at her mom, who knew how to bust a move. She was dancing with some man dressed like a surgeon. He looked like he wanted to play doctor with my ex-mother-in-law.

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