Page 68 of The Holiday Ex-Files

“Family is complicated.”

Mara’s eyes popped open and hit mine full-force. “I’m just glad you left my brother. Idiot,” she snarled.

“He is an idiot,” I agreed.

She closed her eyes and let me continue my masterpiece. “Horrifyingly, his wife is worse. Sadly, the #CannClaudia campaign did not work. She ended up donating a bunch of money to charity and then posting a half-naked picture of herself, so all is forgiven.” Mara stuck a finger in her mouth, pretending to gag. “That earned her a spot on PREPARATION H hemorrhoid treatment’s mailing list. She should be getting a free sample any day now.” Mara laughed like a mad scientist.

“My hero. I adore you.”

“I just do what I can for society.”

She had me giggling.

“But,” she turned more serious, “I think there’s trouble in paradise.”

My ears perked up. “Really? Why?”

Mara’s pretty hazel eyes fluttered open. “Well . . . because of you.”

I dropped the brush on the palette. “Me?”

“This new, old you”—Mara waved her hand in front of me—“has my brother in a tailspin.”

“I don’t understand.”

Mara tilted her head. “Don’t you? The woman he fell in love with has reappeared.”

“He didn’t like that woman,” I said, without my voice hitching. That was progress.

“No. He, like my dad, wanted to control that woman. But unlike my mother, until recently, you let him know he couldn’t.”

“It took me longer than it should have.”

“The important thing is that you got there. Give yourself credit for that. Maybe even forgive yourself,” she added.

Yes, please. Please forgive me, Miss Sparkly pleaded. Again.

“I’m working on it.” This time I was telling the truth. That said, it was hard work. I’d even started putting little notes on my mirror to read every morning like self-affirmations. They said things like, Believe in yourself, Let it go, You’re in the driver’s seat, Live life intentionally, and my favorite, You’re such a weirdo for doing this. That was my love note to Miss Sparkly.

“It’s showing, and my brother notices. And Claudia notices that my brother notices. You probably inspired that half-naked picture.”

“Ew.” I wrinkled my nose. “Don’t say that.”

“You know what I mean. She was trying to show my brother what he had to lose. Little does she know what a winner he’d be if he lost those hundred and ten pounds.”

“Do you think he would leave her?” I wasn’t asking because I wanted him back. More like a little sweet revenge. Except I would love for him to find Claudia in his beloved Audi having sex with, like, her trainer, or better yet, his trainer. Just thinking of it made me giddy and pukey and perhaps guilty. Okay, so maybe I wouldn’t. No matter how much I hated Ben, I didn’t wish that for anyone.

Mara shrugged. “I think it’s a possibility. He’s been talking to my mom a lot. He feels like he’s missing out on having a family of his own, and just so you know, he doesn’t like your friendship with Noah.”

“I told you, we are platonic with a capital P.”

“So you keep saying.” She smirked.

“It’s true.” I rolled my eyes. “You’ll see tonight. It’s Annika.”

“You want to bet on that?” She wagged her brows.

I held out my hand and matched her toothy grin. “I bet my life on it.”

Chapter Twenty-Three

Dear Ex-Filers, some words of advice for tonight: Remember, men and women rarely do right by each other at parties. Don’t drink and drive. Don’t drunk date either. Alcohol is the leading cause of bad hookups and morning regrets. But if you fall prey to the charms of another on this All Hallows’ Eve, just remember I’ll be here when you’ve sobered up to crop that mistake right out. As for your hangover, that one is on you. Stay safe, sober, and single.

Lots of love,

Cami

Before I could click publish, the Miss popped up in my head. Do you really have to add the single part? Don’t you think that’s a personal decision? You could be keeping people from a happiness like they’ve never known. Like yourself, cough, cough. Besides, if everyone stayed single, your little photoshopping business would be obliterated.

Thank you for your little PSA. I clicked publish before I could think too much about Sparkles’s lecture. I admit that was a dilemma for me. Not like I was thinking about getting into a relationship, but the Miss was all for entertaining the thought. But yes, that could put a serious damper on our brand. What would I say—all for me and none for thee? I would be a total hypocrite if I let Sparkles have her way.

Yes, but you would be so much happier. Come on, I need a good make out session and some slow hands. Remember how that feels?

A shiver went through me at the thought of how amazing a man’s touch could be.

Stop it, I begged her. I’m in the middle of hosting a party and fundraiser. See all the good that’s come from our tragedy? Don’t you want to keep helping these causes we believe in so much? We need the Ex-Filers to do that. We never had this reach before.

---