Page 43 of The Holiday Ex-Files

Miss Sparkly channeled Grease and said, Tell me about it, stud.

I, on the other hand, grabbed my friend’s hand and together we danced. Miss Sparkly liked that much better than her plan, especially because we were no longer doing the skank. No, Noah twirled me and then he pulled me close. Like flush against his body close. I thought it had been awkward when he opened my door. This had nothing on that moment. We both stared at each other as the heat rose between us, but I was too stunned to do anything about it. I mean, Miss Sparkly had some suggestions, but I wasn’t kissing him or grabbing his butt. Though his lips did look inviting. And I had to admit, being in his arms wasn’t bad at all. There may have been some goose bumps. There were definite heart palpitations. In fact, my heart wasn’t sure what to do; it hadn’t felt like this in a long time.

Thankfully, Noah came to his senses and let go of me, putting plenty of distance between us. He picked up Liam and spun him around, all but ignoring me.

Oddly enough, I couldn’t move at all, but felt as if I were spinning. Where I was going to land was anyone’s guess. I had a feeling, though, if I kept this up, I was in for some serious road rash.

Chapter Fourteen

Dear Ex-Filers, thanks for all the shirt links. I think I bought one in every color I could find. I’ll be giving some of them away at the Halloween Bash. Tickets are sold out, but you can still donate online for the women and children’s shelter. I can’t thank you all enough for your support. Here’s a little wisdom for the day: “Remember that sometimes not getting what you want is a wonderful stroke of luck.” —Dalai Lama

And yes, that goes for relationships too.

Lots of love,

Cami

I clicked publish and shoved my phone into my jeans pocket. I was still a little shaken from my day with Noah yesterday. There was some serious weirdness between us on the ride home. He hardly said a word to me, like he knew what Miss Sparkly had been thinking when we’d danced, and he wanted to make sure I knew we were on a strict friends-only basis. Of course, I knew that but I made sure to remind good old Sparkles about what kind of damage relationships do. Last night I cropped exes for hours, reminding her and myself of the terrible heartache that coupling brings about. I forced Miss Sparkly to read all the gut-wrenching details people had sent me. Everything from spousal abuse and neglect to cheating with the spouse’s best friend.

I honestly thought I had silenced the urge to date. I wished there were a twelve-step program for recovering hopeless romantics. I needed a hotline.

Mara walked in from the kitchen, where she’d been talking on the phone. We were at a client’s home that was ready to go on the market. I was there to take the pictures for the listing. Mara was going to play my assistant.

“Sorry, I had to take that call. The house I listed on Elm is in a bidding war.” Mara smiled, ever so pleased.

“No worries.” I unzipped the case where I kept my reflector discs.

Mara tilted her head. “Hey, are you okay? You seem bummed.”

Oh man, I wanted so badly to talk to her about my weekend. Tell her how ridiculous my sparkly half had behaved. She would help me to just laugh it off. But in a way, I felt as if I had cheated on her. Not only had I shown Noah Cosmetics and Crimes, but I’d agreed to decorate Shanna’s porch, and I had gone to a fall carnival and danced in public. I was totally falling off the wagon.

The guilt bubbled up inside me. “So, I did a bad thing.”

Mara gripped her chest. “Did you succumb to watching a Hallmark movie?”

“No, no, nothing that bad.” I grinned.

“Whew.” Mara faux-wiped her brow. “So, what did you do?”

“Okay, so it’s not necessarily a bad thing—actually it’s a good thing, but I feel like it might lead to bad things.”

Mara scrunched her brow.

“You know how Shanna Diaz is pregnant with twins.”

Mara nodded.

“Well, she’s on bed rest until the babies come, which will hopefully be in December. Soooo . . .” I twirled my hair. “Noah has been helping out a lot with his nephews, and he asked me to help because I’m way cooler than him and know how to use Google.”

“What?” Mara wasn’t following.

“That’s neither here nor there,” I rambled. “You see, I did help him on Saturday, and before I knew it, I was offering to decorate Shanna’s porch for fall and now I can’t back out, but I haven’t been in a Hobby Lobby for almost three years, and you know how I get in that place. More importantly, you know they already have the holiday-that-shall-not-be-named decorations up. But what if I can’t resist and I go crazy and eat all the candy canes and rearrange all the decorations on the trees, because, you know, sometimes they don’t do them right? Worse, what if the manager shows up and hauls me out of the store while I’m clinging to garland, but he’s super gorgeous and since I’ve already lost my head and I’m high on sugar, I tell him that we should meet for drinks, and he agrees. And then we cuddle and get married, and I bear his children and then he leaves me for one of his checkout girls.” I took a deep breath in and let it out. I’d obviously left out the most important part—that I’d danced with Noah and liked it. A lot. But I couldn’t own up to that. That was really crazy. Oh, and I didn’t dare mention I was talking to myself. That was certifiable. But maybe some time at a “facility” with locks would be good for me.

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