Page 79 of A Love Letter to Whiskey
“What?” Jamie’s nose flared and I felt every muscle in him coil with tension without even having to lay a finger on him. “What the fuck are you talking about?”
“I’m talking about the little pixie blonde who was just mauling your face,” I answered. “Angel is her name, right?” Jamie blanched at that, and I smirked, feeling like I’d won when I knew I was the clear loser before I even walked into the bar. “Oh yeah, Claire? Her BFF? She filled me in on the whole situation when I spotted you two sucking face.”
Jamie’s shoulders were squared, like he was waiting for me to start swinging. I was almost to the point where I could, madness radiating off me like steam from a hot summer rain. I hated him. I hated myself. I wanted to run away as much as I wanted to pound my fists on his chest.
“And?” he finally challenged, stepping into my space this time. I sniffed, my eyes dipping away from his for a moment, but I didn’t back away. “What, are you mad? Is that what you’re trying to say? Because I’d be really fucking interested to hear why you think you have any right to be.”
“Just tell me, okay? You cheated on me, didn’t you? I was in Pittsburgh, and she was here, and it was easier with her, right?” I shook my head. “Why did you even make the big gesture? Why not just tell me?”
“You think I ch—?” He couldn’t even get the entire sentence out. It died on his lips, killed by a sinister laugh and his hands rushing back through his hair. It was longer than the last time I’d seen it, just how I liked it. I wanted my hands in it, instead. I wanted his mouth on mine. Even now, even raging mad, I needed him. “Angel and I didn’t start talking until October, not that that is any of your goddamn business. She asked me out countless times over the summer and I turned her down every single fucking time because of you. Not because it would have been cheating, since you made it perfectly clear that we were not a couple, but because I loved you, B.”
This time I did flinch, and I stepped back quickly, suddenly uncomfortable from the heat I felt from his skin. But Jamie wasn’t backing down, and he pushed into my space more, until my back was against the brick wall of the building and I had to look away.
“I fucking loved you, and you loved me, too. But you wouldn’t be with me. Not when I asked, not when I begged, not when I proved to you that we could do it. You were the one who didn’t—” Again, his words were cut short, and he dropped his gaze to our feet. I took the opportunity to look at him again, and his jaw ticked under the skin as his eyes slowly climbed back to mine. “You’re wearing heels.”
The heat in his gaze took a hard turn away from anger as those words left his mouth in a low, gravelly voice. It was primal now, and each breath he took felt connected to mine as I watched it leave his chest. The last time he commented on my heels, they ended up wrapped around his waist. Everything inside me craved that same connection, but the wine-stained lipstick smears from another woman on Jamie’s lips annihilated that yearning like the snuffing of a flame.
“And you’re wearing lipstick,” I breathed, closing my eyes tight as the images of Angel on his lap assaulted my vision. I didn’t want to fight anymore, I just wanted to leave.
It took a moment, but Jamie pushed himself off the wall, and I creaked my eyes open just in time to see him wipe at his bottom lip with his thumb. He shook his head, like he was disappointed — in himself or me, I couldn’t be sure.
“Why are you really here?”
“I missed you,” I answered honestly. I was always honest with Jamie, even when it hurt.
He cringed, two parallel lines forming between his brows as he pinched the bridge of his nose. “No, no you don’t get to say that to me.” He shook his head, dropping his hand as his eyes opened again. “I’m finally happy,” he whispered, with a delirious chuckle. “Okay? Is that alright with you, B? Do I have your permission to be fucking happy?”
My jaw dropped, and I opened my mouth to argue but couldn’t find the words before Jamie held up his hands to stop me.
“God, you are the most selfish woman I have ever met. Let me guess, you missed me, so you thought you could just get on a flight and I’d be here waiting for you, right? Because that’s exactly what I did for three years in California, so why wouldn’t you think that? But guess what? You wanted me to let you go so badly, and this time, I listened.” His eyes were wide, wild, and he was shaking hard. “So no, you don’t get to show up here and tell me you missed me. You don’t get to—”
