Page 51 of A Love Letter to Whiskey
Everyone has that one night they can trace back to in their mind, that first night they drank too much and made a complete ass of themselves. Well, this was that night for me, and I was about to find out the hard way that, contrary to popular belief, “liquor before beer” did not always mean “in the clear” — especially when it all started with Jack Daniel’s.
“I want to go swimming,” I sang into Ethan’s lips as we kissed, the party in high gear around us. Jamie wanted to go in the pool, and I wanted Jamie’s attention. Science.
Ethan laughed. “A little too cold for that, babe. Maybe in a week or two.”
“No, I want to go now,” I argued, pouting.
A freshman sprinted past us, ripping his clothes off and flinging them behind him, screaming something about skinny dipping. I perked up, eyes on him as everyone laughed around us and I turned back to Ethan.
“Come on! Let’s go!” I jumped up, tugging my boots off and following after the naked freshman. Ethan hooked his arm around my elbow.
“B, no, you’re not going skinny dipping.”
I didn’t know why, but his demand didn’t sit right with me, and I scowled. “I can do whatever the hell I want.”
Ethan’s eyes were hard, unbudging. “I’m serious. There’s too many people here, and it’s a campus party. There’s campus police like two streets away and you’re already drinking underage. Don’t be stupid.”
I ripped my arm away from his and saw Jamie and Jenna both stand in my periphery. “What, afraid I’ll damage your perfect reputation before election?” I was sneering, and I knew I was being ugly, but I couldn’t stop it. I was out of control. “It was embarrassing to kiss me earlier, guess it’d really be embarrassing if I took my clothes off.” I didn’t know why I wanted to push his buttons, but I stripped my sweater off to prove the point, leaving me in just the tank top I was wearing underneath. A few guys whistled and I tossed a wink in their direction.
“Okay, come on. We’re leaving.” He went to grab my arm again but I dodged it.
“You can go if you want. I’m not ready to leave.”
“That wasn’t a request.”
“And mine wasn’t a suggestion.”
“Damnit, Brecks!” He screamed my name like a curse word. It might as well have been. “You’re not getting in that pool. End of story.”
He was talking to me like a child, scolding me by using my full name. I glared at him, mouth open, wondering how he could do that. He didn’t know about my parents, but I’d told him my real name in confidence, telling him there was a very real reason why I never went by it.
And he’d betrayed that trust.
“B…” Jamie flanked me, holding his hands out like I was dangerous. “Come on. I’ll walk you back to your dorm.”
“I can walk myself,” I spat at all of them, snatching my sweater and boots off the ground. Then, I turned on my heels and tore through the crowd that had been staring at us, pushing down the emotions building inside of me and focusing on not stumbling as I pulled my boots back on.
I didn’t even make it through the parking lot before I heard his steps behind me.
“Go away, Jamie,” I threw behind me, still stalking toward the path that led back to my dorm. The university was set up in a circular fashion, with different sidewalk circles connecting the inner and outer parts of campus. We were on the outside, and so was my dorm, just a short ten-minute walk away, and I found solace in that as I brushed past the cars parked in Lot A.
“What? Nothing to say now?”
“I said go away.”
“Oh come on,” he chided, his long legs letting him catch up to me easily. “You’ve been doing your damnedest to get my attention all night. Well, you’ve got it.”
I scoffed. “Contrary to your belief that the world revolves around you, Jamie, you were the last thing on my mind tonight.”
“Bullshit.”
I spun then, stopping us mid-stride, practically seething. “Just leave me alone! Go back to Jenna and give her the Tour De’ Jamie’s Bedroom. I’ve heard it’s quite the tourist spot on campus.”
Jamie’s lips flattened and he slammed his hand against a random truck. “Damnit, B!” I flinched, waiting for the alarm to sound, but it didn’t. “What the hell do you want from me? You give yourself to me after all this time and then treat me like scum the next fucking day, saying it was a mistake and didn’t matter to you. But then, you act like a goddamn fool when you see me with your best friend.” He stepped into my space and my breath caught in my chest. “You think I slept with Tina? I didn’t. She’s in my class, nothing more. You think that night didn’t matter to me? It did. It’s all I’ve thought about since. You think it doesn’t kill me to see Ethan’s hands on you?” He stepped closer, eyes wild. “It does. It fucking murders me. You think what happened between us wasn’t real? It was.” His chest was heaving as everything faded out around us and his eyes fell to my lips. “And it still is.”
