Page 11 of Burn for You (Flirting with Forever 3)

I wish … Squeezing my eyes tightly, I concentrate solely on the air entering and exiting my body, as if that’s going to calm me down.

I wish he hadn’t heard my parents. My emotional state right now is unstable at best. My lip wobbles. With a sideways glance at him, I snatch up my phone and mumble, “I need to visit the ladies’ room before class.”

I hurry off like a shot down the hallway to the bathroom and lock myself in a stall.

I do my business, and then just sit there quietly where no one can watch the humiliation sweeping through me, on display all over my face. With a glance at my phone, I see I have five minutes before the bell is going to ring, and I’ll be damned if I’m leaving this stall. I put the humiliation of Damon witnessing my phone call in a tiny box and tuck it ever so carefully into the back of my mind where I don’t have to think about it for the moment. I can’t help but think I’m royally screwing everything up.

A check-in with Prof.M. has been my go-to lately for those times when I need to put a smile on my face. Unfortunately, the last time we messaged, I’d lost my damn mind and told him I’d like to suck him off. And it had felt deliciously naughty in the moment, but afterward … I just don’t know. I’d felt nervous and out of sorts. It really hadn’t been very “me” to say something like that. That damn Tryst app makes me way too brave.

Thank goodness I’m fairly decent at compartmentalizing things and had conveniently forgotten about that little bit of embarrassment until just now. My face turns red just thinking of everything I’d said to him and my hands tremble. What this all amounts to is the fact that I’m one huge mess—I’m just really freaking good at hiding it from everyone.

What the hell. I may as well check in with him and see just how craptastic my day is about to get. With a deep sigh, I open the Tryst app to find there’s a message from him waiting for me.

Prof.M. to Sherlock4Love: I think we should meet. Otherwise, how will we ever know we have anything in common beyond Sherlock?

Wait. He wants to meet me? I ponder this new information for a second before I chuckle at how dumb I am. Of course he wants to meet. Of course. You offered up your mouth to him. I’m so dumb. I can’t believe I did that.

He must be online right now because that was just sent a minute ago. Another message comes in right behind it.

Prof.M. to Sherlock4Love: Look, I feel like maybe our last conversation spooked you, and I don’t want you to feel that way.

Prof.M. to Sherlock4Love: I know I like smart fucking women, and you seem to be one. You can hide what you look like, but you can’t hide your brain. It’s not just about what you look like or how we might interact, though that’s definitely part of it. I want to know everything about you.

Fingers hovering over my phone’s keyboard, I close my eyes before blowing out a breath through pursed lips. I guess I need to be honest before I get myself in really deep.

Sherlock4Love to Prof.M.: I don’t know if I’m ready for that.

Prof.M. to Sherlock4Love: Well, I am. I’m ready whenever you are.

Prof.M. to Sherlock4Love: I need to know.

Sherlock4Love to Prof.M.: Need to know what?

A hard swallow works its way down past the lump in my throat as I wait for his reply.

Prof.M. to Sherlock4Love: I need to know what this is. We flirt and have fun. But I think we are both looking for something more.

Prof.M. to Sherlock4Love: Am I wrong?

I close my eyes. Great. Now I’m feeling pressure from all sides—from myself, my parents, and now even from Prof.M. And the thing is, it’s not that I don’t want the same things. Do I want the department chair position? Of course. Do I want my parents to think well of me? Yep. Do I think I owe it to myself to find out who this guy is? Hell, yes.

Prof.M. to Sherlock4Love: I’m from a big family. I’m used to fighting for what I want. And I want to know you.

Sherlock4Love to Prof.M.: Well, I’m an only child, so I pretty much always get my way.

Prof.M. to Sherlock4Love: But couldn’t what you want and I want be the same thing? Think about it.

My teeth catch the corner of my lower lip. He could be right. But what if we meet and it’s all wrong?

Sherlo

ck4Love to Prof.M.: I’ll do that. Give me some time?

Chapter 6

Damon

As I work on creating a handout for a book we’ll be reading in class soon, I wonder where the hell Piper has disappeared to. She’d taken off like a bat out of hell at the end of lunch and then we’d had class, so I haven’t had a chance to check on her.

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