Page 55 of Lost in You (Flirting with Forever 1)

And I knew the truth. I’d kept it from him. He’d told me how he thought he’d be married to Dana and have babies with her by now. I’d taken that from him—his wife and a family. He’s jealous of his brother because Heath has everything I’d ripped away from him. I’d single-handedly destroyed all of his dreams for his future with my big fat mouth. Uncontrollable guilt rushes through me, overwhelming, making my head pound. I grip it with my hands, rocking myself and silently crying. No matter what he says about not being mad, I can’t forgive myself.

And I sure as hell don’t deserve him.

I see the little jumping dots of a response being drafted, and I begin to panic.

Me: No. Please don’t say anything right now.

The dots stop jumping.

And the odd thing is, I can’t decide whether I’m glad he adhered to my wishes or if I’m sad that he didn’t ignore it and just say what he wanted to say. I set my phone aside after turning it off and curl up on my side. Sleep doesn’t come for several long hours after that.

Chapter 30

Madison

Several days later, I drop into a chair at the coffee shop for our book club meeting, grateful when I see someone has already ordered for me. Five pairs of curious eyes immediately pin on me. Everyone sits forward in their chairs. I take a quick sip of my toffee latte before I allow my eyes to roam over my tribe. I wonder what they think of all this.

Piper bites her lip, and then asks, “Well, how did it go?”

“I’ve been dying not knowing how everything went after our last round of text messages.” Hadleigh grins at me with wide eyes, and Zoey nods her head in agreement.

“Did the whole fake boyfriend thing work?” Quinn asks. “I was afraid you’d get tripped up somewhere along the way.”

My eyes flit over to Sophia who is looking down at her hands. She briefly glances at me and gives a little shake of her head. She’s told them nothing. I send her a small smile of thanks.

I take a deep breath. “One thing at time. It was … a weekend of revelations.”

Hadleigh pouts. “You have to give us more than that.”

“In short, we pulled it off. I ended up telling my brother what we’d been up to, though. Because I did finally tell Shawn that I was the one who’d told Dana that he’d cheated.”

Piper’s nose wrinkled. “When he hadn’t.”

“No. And then I took off and caught a ride home with James and Emily.”

Zoey looks confused at first until Quinn leans over and whispers, “Her brother and his girlfriend.”

“Oh no. So, you all didn’t come back home together?” Zoey sits back, her arms folded across her chest. “That’s awful.”

I slowly shake my head and take another sip of my coffee, not disagreeing with her at all.

“Hey, you girls gab for a few minutes. I want to talk to Madison alone.” Sophia stands and holds her hand out to me.

My stomach does flip-flops. One thing I hadn’t considered at all was how this may affect my relationship with Sophia. Out of all the women, I’m closest with her and Quinn, and she has the added tie of being Shawn’s soon-to-be sister-in-law. I swallow hard as I follow her down the hallway. We stop across from the restrooms when we are out of earshot.

She eyes me warily, one perfect brow arched. “You seem miserable.” She hesitates for a second before continuing. “He’s miserable, too, you know. And he doesn’t understand why you left. He’s scared you don’t trust him, the same way Dana didn’t.”

“I broke them up, Sophia. I feel awful. He would never have been with me if I hadn’t done that. The guilt is tearing me up. I lied to her.”

Sophia scoffs, “No. Don’t do that. You were telling the truth as you knew it. You were trying to protect her.”

“But does he see that? Does he understand I wasn’t trying to hurt him? I was trying to save her from … God, that sounds so stupid. I meant well.” I rub my face in frustration. “I’m sure Dana won’t see it the same way.”

“She and Shawn have been over for a long time. And frankly, based on conversations he and I have had this week, it was her lack of trust in him that made him not fight for her. It’s in the past. Things happen for a reason, Madison. You can’t blame yourself for trying to help. Chase is the asshole here, not you. He’s a cheat and a liar—and now everyone knows it.”

I nod, knowing in my heart she’s right.

“But, Madi? No man is miserable like this over a woman unless he really cares for her. You should hold on tight to a man like that.” She reaches out to pat my arm and gives me a soft smile. “It’s been interesting to see him like this. I’ve never known him to be this affected by anything before. He’s been playing his guitar like mad.”

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