Page 45 of Lost in You (Flirting with Forever 1)

Shawn’s guttural tone hits me deep. “No. Don’t you ever think that. He cheated because he’s an asshole. No other reason.”

I swallow hard. “Maybe he knew he wasn’t the one for me and did it to push me away.”

“Maybe. Either way, you’re better off.” He presses a kiss to the side of my head, his fingers curling around the back of my neck, threading in the curls of my hair. A heavy sigh leaves him. “And then there was Dana, too.”

“Yeah.” My hearts squeezes so tightly in my chest, I have to ask. “You loved her?”

“I did.” His gruff voice is filled with what I know is pain—pain he carries around—he tries to hide it, but I know it’s there. And it’s my fault.

I’m barely able to control my internal freak-out as I sit there by his side. My heart is pinging around in my chest, nervous and unsure how to do it, but I know that I have to tell Shawn I’m the person who was instrumental in his breakup with Dana. I can’t carry this burden, can’t hide this secret from him forever.

I want whatever this is between us to work so badly, but I’m terrified that once I tell him, we’ll be over. I work a swallow past the lump in my throat. “Do you ever get to the point where you just don’t know what to do? Which way to go, what to say because you know certain things could change your whole life? And if you make a mistake …” My voice trails off as the rest of my thoughts get caught in the knot in my chest.

I’ve got to tell him. Even if it turns out to be the biggest mistake and biggest regret of my life.

A knock sounds at the door, interrupting my thoughts. Shawn and I frown at each other, not sure who it would be. He pulls on his pants while I gather my clothing and scurry into the bathroom.

I hear voices through the door. My heart pounds a chaotic beat when I realize who it is. Chase. As if I’m not freaking out enough right now. I can’t imagine what he wants, and I’m unable to hear distinctly what he’s saying.

“Madison?” Shawn’s voice raises so I can hear him.

“Just a sec!” I call out, my throat feeling like I’ve swallowed a bunch of sandpaper. What the heck?

I take a quick look in the mirror. Chase is going to take one look at the color on my face and know what I’ve been up to. Ugh. Just what I need. Or hey, maybe this isn’t a bad thing? Maybe he’ll go the hell away and get out of my life.

The wild riot of curls around my head can only be called sex hair, of that I’m certain. I pat it cautiously, then try to fix it with a bit of water. The frizz factor at the back is out of control from where my head had thrashed around on the pillow. I give my reflection a secret smile as warmth floods my body and flashes come at me. Shawn going down on me, licking me with gusto, like I was his favorite flavor of ice cream. Shawn kissing me like he worships me. Shawn driving into me with that big cock of his. I blow out a deep breath. I don’t want to think about Chase. I just want to stay in this bubble with Shawn as long as I can, and Chase’s presence threatens all of that.

I come to the sudden realization that it’s time for me to own my life and my choices, both past and present. I tug my clothes into place and venture back into the room.

Chase leans against the side of the doorway, entry blocked by Shawn’s big body.

When Chase catches sight of me, his brows raise. “Hey, I was wondering if I could talk to you for a few minutes.”

I nod. Be strong, Madison. “Sure. Want to go down to the lobby, or …?”

Shawn eyes me warily. “Do you want me to come with you?”

I pat his chest. I want to scream, Yes! Please help me deal with this jackass! I settle for, “You know what, I’m okay. I can handle this.” And I’ll just have to hope that I really am able to.

Shawn pulls me in front of him and looks directly into my eyes. The tenderness I see there nearly makes me unravel. I blink a few times. “I’m fine.”

“I’ll be right here if you need me.”

Down in the lobby, Chase and I sit in a couple of chairs off in the corner. I lean back, crossing my arms over my chest as his eyes wander over me. Just sitting here with him, knowing how he’s hurt me in the past, knowing he’s hurt Shawn, too, makes a disgusted shiver roll right through me.

I straighten my back and watch him carefully. He came to me. I’m not speaking first. A strength I didn’t know I possessed rushes through me from head to toe. I arch one brow at him.

He chuckles. “I could always tell when you were mad just by the movements of your eyebrows. Look, I’m sorry. I heard you guys ended up back here because of the storm, and I was kind of glad for it because I wanted the chance to apologize to you.”

My jaw works back and forth. “What exactly are you sorry for?”

He looks down at his hands before looking back up. I see the steel in his eyes before he responds, so I’m not surprised when he asks, “Are you really with him?”

I take a deep breath. Am I with Shawn? All signs point, undeniably to yes. Twenty-four hours ago, it would have been a lie, but not now. “Yes, we’re together.”

He shakes his head, chuckling again. Why does him laughing make me want to slap that cocky smile off of his face? “Does he know you told Dana a flat-out lie? Maybe if you haven’t, it’s him I should be having a conversation with.”

My blood runs cold in my veins. I can’t believe he’s doing this. How did we go from an apology to accusations and threats? I know the answer—his intent was never to apologize. For whatever reason, he’s trying to make me miserable, and Shawn, too. My tongue darts out to lick my lips, and I try to swallow, but find I can’t. “It’s not a lie if I thought it was the truth, Chase.”

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