Page 38 of Lost in You (Flirting with Forever 1)

“You awake?” Shawn lightly trails a path up and down my arm with his fingertips. Even all the little things he does make me feel good.

I nod. “Yes. I woke up and couldn’t stop thinking about everything that happened earlier.” I pause, swallowing hard. “With Chase, I mean.”

A rumbling sound reverberates through Shawn’s chest. “He just isn’t the same guy I knew in high school. I don’t know what he did or who he came into contact with when he went away to college, but I wish I understood it because it cost me a good friend.”

“And I was just dumb enough to hook up with him at the wrong time.” I bow my head, chin to my chest.

“Maybe so.” He gently squeezes me to him and presses a kiss to my forehead. “The ‘wrong time’ part, not the ‘dumb’ part.” He chuckles awkwardly. “Sorry. It’s really not funny.”

I lift my head and give him a quick grin. “I love that you make the hardest situations seem so much easier, like it’s no big deal. I feel like I can do anything with you by my side.”

“And I’m glad you see yourself for the wonderful, strong woman you are when you’re with me. A man should be able to do that for his woman.”

His sweet words make me feel warm and happy inside. “You’re a good man. You should write a song about that.”

“Maybe someday,” he murmurs, lips drifting into my ha

ir.

We lie there quietly for a few minutes, but I just can’t let it go yet. “Can I ask you a question?”

“Of course. Ask me anything.”

“I can’t make sense of people who cheat. What makes anyone think that’s okay to do to someone else? I feel gross knowing that he was having sex with other women behind my back.”

Shawn grumbles, “He’s disgusting. You shouldn’t think about it anymore.”

“I just—”

“No.” He cuts me off with a wave of his hand through the air above us. “You want to know why he was so mad when he saw us? He knows he let the best woman ever slip through his fingers, and it’s all his fucking fault.”

I bite my lip and glance up at his tense face. “You’re right. It is. And, um …” I sit up, drawing the sheet up to my chest. I owe Shawn an apology for assuming he was a cheater. I feel the sting signaling the approach of tears in my nose, my eyes fill, and I cover my face. I can’t believe all the ramifications of what I’d done are only just occurring to me.

Shawn’s quick to sit up. “What’s this? Hey, hey, hey.” He hushes me and tugs me onto his lap.

I can’t speak, my throat is so clogged with remorse. Not only had Shawn not cheated, but I’d meddled in his relationship with Dana for nothing. Nothing. If I’d known the truth …

I hiccup my way through a good bout of tears before I can say anything. My words come out watery with plenty of stutters. “I-I kept trying to figure ou-out how someone like you would d-do that to Dana. H-how could he? How c-could Ch-Chase just let you take the heat for it?” I sniffle and sputter. “He’s such an ass.” I cringe, knowing I will eventually need to tell him the full reason why I’m so deeply affected by this.

“You can say that again. He is an ass. He needed to hide from you what he’d done. He panicked, I guess.” Shawn shrugs, tightening his hold on me.

“And y-you got caught up in the m-middle of it.” Oh, I’m going straight to hell. Tell him. Guilt crashes over me.

“I did, indeed. Dana and I, both. But you know, it was really odd. She wouldn’t listen to a word I said, just kept repeating that she knew I’d fucked some girl in Chase’s truck.”

My face screws up as I try to recall every detail of what I knew.

“Remember that concert you didn’t go to because you were sick? That’s when it happened. He was with some girl in his truck, and she must have lost a bracelet in the process. Then I guess you found it?”

I stiffen and nod. Yep, I’d found it all right. I’d also been an idiot and assumed my boyfriend told me the truth, even though I couldn’t reconcile what he told me about Shawn. I look down at my hands, which are twisting furiously together in my lap. My stomach is sick with regret. Oh God, oh God, I totally broke them up by telling her he’d been the one to fool around. I’m officially the worst person ever.

I don’t know what to do. Should I tell him? Will he be upset that I was the one who’d blabbed to Dana? Will it destroy everything we’ve just found in each other?

“And I imagine Chase fed you the line that it was me who’d cheated on Dana instead of admitting what he’d done. Do I have that right?”

Shawn’s phone vibrates next to us on the bedside table. He reaches over, without waiting for my response. I wait while he looks at the message. I have to tell him.

I’m going to throw up. Oh, God. I hurriedly whisper, “I’ll be right back,” and climb out of the bed, hand over my mouth, and make a beeline for the bathroom.

---