Page 83 of Drawn to You (Chasing Olivia 1)

I stare up at the ceiling, tears beginning to flood my vision once again. How did I not see this? I knew he’d been acting really strange, just like Evan had. Is it possible I wasn’t enough for him? The woman that left his apartment, she was wearing designer clothes and designer shoes. She fit the part of a wealthy woman. I work in the dirt for most of the day or stinky seawater. Maybe he just wanted out of our relationship but didn’t know how to tell me. Why wouldn’t he tell me? He told me he would do anything for me, keep me safe. How is sleeping with another woman doing any of that?

The feelings I have for Chase, I can’t help but think I might have felt the same way about Evan when we first started dating. It’s been so many years, I can’t remember. How can anyone want another person so badly that it hurts forever? Eventually it must go to a place that is comfortable, like it was with Evan and me.

I probably felt the way I did because Chase was someone new and different, someone I thought was too good for me. Taboo. Is it possible that if I had given Evan a second chance he could had been faithful? Chase and I wouldn’t have worked anyway, it couldn’t have. There are too many differences between us.

Maybe I should move back to Long Island. I don’t know if I can get out of the lease, but I know I can’t live this close to Chase. I need to get rid of all of the furniture that he purchased; I don’t want to owe him anything.

I’m no longer sad, now I’m angry. Really fucking pissed. Angry at myself for not seeing it sooner. Angry at Chase for lying to me. At this point, I don’t think there’s anyone I’m not mad at. I get up and change into something warmer, get under the sheets, and try to fall back to sleep.

I don’t sleep well. After going through my morning routine, I grab my phone. Crap, I forgot to charge it. Not that it matters, I don’t want to talk to anyone anyway. I do need it for work, though. I’ll charge it in the car on my way.

Once in my Jeep, I plug in my phone. I turn it on and start my drive in to the office. At least I only have to stop in for some paperwork; I don’t want to talk to anyone today.

I’m afraid to turn on the radio. there are so many songs that remind me of Chase. My phone powers on, and there are several pings that come from it. Five messages and another dozen texts; all from Chase.

I delete all of them without reading or listening to them. I don’t want to read his excuses. I know that if I hear his soft voice, I might cave. I find my music folder on my iPhone and choose one of my favorite get-it-together songs. Hitting play, I hum along with the lyrics and sing the refrain aloud. “Breathe, just breathe.” It reminds me that there is nothing I can do at the moment. There is no rewind button to life. I am determined to concentrate on work and try to forget the pit of despair I am in.

All week long, my phone rings and beeps from calls and texts f

rom Chase. If I didn’t need my phone for work, I would turn it off. It keeps ringing and ringing. Finally by Wednesday, I’ve had enough. I answer the phone without looking at the caller id. “Stop calling me! I don’t want to talk to you!” Just as I’m about to hang up, I hear a familiar voice on the other end.

“Hey, I thought we were good.” It’s Evan. Crap.

“Evan?” I say in shock.

“Yeah . . . you okay?”

“Yes . . . no . . . I don’t know,” I say. “I wasn’t expecting you.”

“I can tell. I called to see if you wanted to go out for a drink Friday.” Hmm. A drink. That could help with my nerves. I’m not so sure having drinks with my ex is such a good idea. Although, at this point, nothing I do seems to be a good idea. Fuck it.

“Sure, what time?”

“Say around six?”

“That will work. I’ll be on the island anyway. I’ll call my mom, and tell her I’m staying there. Where do you want to meet up?”

“How about the Oar. Same as last time.”

“That’s fine.”

“Okay, I’ll talk to you later.”

“Yeah, bye,” and I hang up. Ha. Drinks with my ex. That would set Chase off if he knew. I’m not going to worry about it since the point is moot.

It’s still happy hour at the Oar, so the parking lot is crowded. I make my way to the inside bar and get a glass of wine. Some of my old regulars from Anthony’s are here and buy my first round. I wave a thank you and sit by myself thinking about and reliving the past twenty-four hours.

I’m halfway through my second glass when Evan comes up from behind me. “Hey.”

I turn around to see his smiling face. “Hi,” I greet. He orders a drink and squeezes in between my stool and the woman sitting next to me.

“You sounded weird on the phone. Everything okay?” He sounds concerned.

“Chase and I are over.”

“Chase?”

“The guy I was dating. His name is Chase.”

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