Chapter Twelve
It was late when Jude and I pulled up to the old farmhouse after he’d finished volunteering. Tomorrow I was leaving for spring break with Trent and Row, so this was my last chance to see his grandpa for a good week or more.
The last week I’d been able to steer clear of Jude’s advances and there’d been no more kissing, but my God did I want to. I hated myself for liking him, and I hated him even more for causing me to have such conflicting feelings. I didn’t know how much longer my defenses would last against him. I was hoping my week away would help me to fortify my walls to ensure that he didn’t break through.
“Pap?” Jude called out as we walked inside. “Pap?” He called again when there was no answer.
He looked at me worriedly and my stomach dropped. Oh no, he couldn’t have…
“Pap!” Jude ran up the steps, taking them two at a time. “He’s not here!” He called down a moment later.
I frantically started to search the bottom level but Jerry wasn’t there either. This was bad.
I was terrified he was having one of his episodes and had wandered off. On a property this large the chances of finding him in the dark…yeah, it didn’t look good.
In the sunroom, I caught sight of him out the window. I let out a sigh of relief.
“Found him!” I called out to Jude. I wasn’t sure where he had gone to look. “He’s outside!” Not bothering to wait for him I darted outside, running towards Jerry. He just stood there in the middle of knee high grass looking up at the stars.
“Hello, Tatum,” he said, not even looking at me.
“Jerry,” I tugged on his arm, “it’s cold out, you should come inside.”
“I wonder if she’s up there,” he murmured, like I wasn’t even there. “I wonder if each star is someone that was on this earth once—a person that shined brighter than others. My Mae,” he clucked his tongue, laughing softly, “she shined brighter than anyone I’ve ever known.”
I leaned my head on his shoulder and my racing heart calmed. “I bet she’s right there then,” I pointed at the brightest star I could see. It sparkled in the moonlight. “Look at that, she’s winking at you.”
He reached up and blindly patted my cheek. “Jude didn’t tell me you were coming.”
“I begged him,” I grinned up at the sky.
“He doesn’t want you around me,” Jerry stated, “he’s afraid I’ll tell you something embarrassing.”
“Like what?” I laughed.
“That boy cares more for you than he’d like to admit,” he told me.
“That’s not true. He doesn’t even know me.” Although, that wasn’t really true. While we’d never been friends, we had grown up in the same town all our lives, and with this little question game we had going on we knew each other pretty dang well now.
“How do you ever really know someone?” Jerry countered. “People are always changing. Sometimes, it’s about how you feel them.”
“Feel them?” I questioned, my brows drawing together.
He nodded, placing a hand on his heart. “It what you feel in here, and recognize in the other person, that matters. There’s good and bad in everyone. No one’s perfect, Tatum. Definitely not my grandson, but he has a big heart to offer you.” I wanted to tell him that I didn’t want Jude’s heart, but that would be rude and untrue, because a part of me yearned strongly for the brown-eyed man I was desperate to hate. But the thing about hate is, eventually it disappears and I think I’d just about used all mine up.
Jerry and I stood looking up at the stars for a few minutes longer. When we turned to go back inside, Jude was a few feet behind us watching us curiously.
“Pap, why were you out here by yourself? That’s not safe,” Jude frowned, looking his grandpa over carefully to make sure he was unharmed.
“I’m fine, boy,” Jerry waved a hand dismissively as he headed for the back door. “You worry too much.”
“Of course I worry,” Jude sighed, pinching the bridge of his nose. “Have you eaten dinner?”
“Yes, I didn’t know you two were coming,” Jerry said, holding the door open for us to follow. “It’s a nice surprise. There are leftovers in the refrigerator if you’re hungry.”
My stomach rumbled at the mention of food. Besides a Special K bar after my last class I hadn’t eaten anything in hours. Jude chuckled, having heard the noise. Great.
Jerry headed to the den and a moment later we heard the sounds of the TV.