Page 93 of Tempting Rowan (Trace + Olivia 3)

“From me.”

“I’m pretty sure I can handle you, Row,” he tenderly lifted my hand as he secured the gauze in place.

“It’s not about handling me,” I retorted. “I think you know after what I said today that there’s a lot I can’t tell you. I can’t allow you to…” My gut clenched painfully. “I can’t allow you to love me with these secrets standing between us.” My voice cracked painfully. I hated doing this to him again. I felt like my insides were curling in on themselves.

“Why can’t you tell me?” He looked at my quizzically, wishing I would spill my secrets to him. “Does it really matter if you do?”

I closed my eyes. I wanted to tell him. There had been several times where I had come close to spilling the beans, but I always stopped myself, because I was protecting him from the repercussions of my sins.

It had been selfish of me to give in to my desires. No matter how much I had wanted this time with him, it wasn’t fair to either of us. I was ruined for anyone else and he’d never understand why I had to do this.

“Yeah, it does,” I finally answered. “I wished it didn’t, but it does matter. One day,” I rubbed his cheek softly, “I’ll be able to tell you, but until then, I can’t say anything. I wish I could.”

“Fuck,” he groaned, his eyes closing as he swallowed painfully, “did you sign some contract or something?”

I nodded.

His eyes widened in surprise at having guessed right. “What the hell did you get yourself into?”

“I didn’t kill anybody,” I joked pitifully, “and I’m not in the witness protection program.”

“I don’t understand,” his eyes pleaded with me to speak the truth.

“Good,” I responded.

I lowered my head to his level, where he was bent, and tenderly kissed him. Sadness clung to both of us, as we both knew this was goodbye. He knew me so well that I didn’t even need to tell him.

Trent kissed me back fiercely as he climbed onto the bed. “I’m not okay with this,” he whispered, his lips caressing the skin of my cheek as he spoke, “but because I love you, I’m going to set you free.”

A sob threatened to escape me at his words. He kissed me as his hands found the zipper on the back of my dress. Cool air hit my back as it became exposed and he drew away from me as he pulled the sleeves off my arms and then the dress down my hips. Once it was off I was left in nothing but a pair of lacy black panties and a bra. His eyes feasted hungrily on my body.

“If this is our last night together,” he murmured, gently tugging on my bottom lip with his teeth, “then I’m going to make every second count.”

My heart clenched painfully. A part of me was happy that he had accepted that this was it, that there could be nothing more between us, but another part of me was immensely sad. Trenton Wentworth had ruined me for all other men. He owned me, heart, body, and soul. I loved him, I did. I knew that now. But I couldn’t tell him, or he’d never stop fighting for me, and I needed him to let me go.

He took his time kissing me all over and undressing the rest of my body. My fingers shook as I unbuttoned his shirt and pushed it off his lean shoulders. His arms wrapped around me, protecting me with their warmth and security.

“I love you,” he whispered in between kisses, “I love you. I love you. I love you.” I wondered if he thought by saying those words he could change my mind.

I wished it was that easy.

He rolled on a condom and slowly eased inside me. Our fingers entwined together, and he rested his forehead against mine, staring into my eyes and straight down to my soul as he made love to me.

His lips placed tender kisses along my face, down my neck, and over my shoulders and breasts.

Everything was so sweet and tender.

It was the perfect goodbye.

If only goodbyes las

ted forever…

chapter fifteen

When I woke up Trent’s arms were wrapped around me and our legs were twisted together. It was like in his sleep he’d thought I might escape and he needed to bind me there.

His face was pressed into the crook of my neck and his forehead was wrinkled as if he was dreaming of something unpleasant.

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