Page 104 of Tempting Rowan (Trace + Olivia 3)

“Fine,” he growled.

He grabbed my arm once more and dragged me behind him to his dorm. He pulled out a keycard and swiped it. Forcing open the door, he all but shoved me inside. The muscle in his jaw ticked, reminding me once again that he wasn’t happy to see me. I’d expected that, but it still stung worse than a slap from my mother.

“Follow me,” he stormed up a set of steps, his heavy boots slapping against the tiled floor.

I’d come this far, so there was no turning back. I reluctantly followed behind him as I counted in my head.

One, two, three, four, five, six, seven, eight, nine, ten.

He stopped in front of a door and waited for me.

He opened the door and waved me inside first. I think he thought I still might try to leave.

“Sit,” he pointed at the bed covered in a navy bedspread. I assumed it was his side of the dorm, as the other was covered in dirty clothes and other junk. Trent wasn’t that messy.

I perched on the end of the bed, taking a deep breath.

He pulled out the chair from his desk and sat in it backwards. “Talk.”

Apparently he was so angry that he could only speak to me in short curt sentences.

“I don’t know where to begin,” I whispered, forcing myself to look at him.

“I don’t know,” he scrubbed a hand over his face, “how about at the beginning.” I noticed that his eyes were tired, like he hadn’t been getting much sleep. His cheeks were scruffier and his hair had gotten longer, curling at the ends.

“Well,” I bit my lip, “I-I got pregnant.”

“Yeah, I figured out that part,” he rolled his eyes, tapping his fingers nervously along the top of the chair.

“Who-who was she?” I forced the words out of my mouth. I needed to know who the girl was that he had been with before I continued. “Is she your girlfriend?”

“Huh?” His brows furrowed together. “Who? Oh—” His face lit with recognition. “That was Kelsey,” his tone was soft, not harsh like it had been. “She lives down the hall. We’re friends. That’s all.”

My eyes closed as relief flooded my body. It had been tearing my insides apart to think he’d moved on so quickly.

“I shouldn’t have asked,” I whispered, my eyes reluctantly meeting his, “but I needed to know.”

“Rowan,” he said my name slowly, “I might be angry at you right now, but I’m not that kind of guy.”

I nodded. “So…I guess I better…uh…explain.”

“That is why you came here, isn’t it?” He questioned, sarcasm lacing his tone. I wanted the sweet Trent back from the moment before.

“Well,” I rubbed my sweaty palms over the fabric of my jeans, “I-I found out I was pregnant,” I swallowed thickly. “I’d already pushed you away before that. It scared the crap out of me when you told me that you loved me,” I admitted. “I knew you meant what you said, but I didn’t believe in love. My mom, who should love me, only hurt me. I thought if you loved me you’d only hurt me in the end too. I was scared and I wanted to avoid that.” I took a deep breath, gazing at the ceiling for a moment as I gathered my thoughts. There was a water stain there and I stared at it as I counted. “When I found out I was pregnant…I’ve never been so frightened in my entire life. I was just a kid myself, Trent, and so were you!” I exclaimed furiously. “I was already raising my little sister. I didn’t see how I could take care of a baby too.” Wetness coated my cheeks. I had never told anyone this, and it was liberating to finally tell the truth. “I had been so mean to you, after what we did and I thought you had to hate me by that point. Besides, you were a sixteen year old guy, why the hell would you want a baby?” I laughed, but there was no humor in the sound. “I felt so alone. So alone,” my voice cracked. “My relationship with my mom was already pretty much non-existent, but some part of me believed she could make it all better. Boy, was I wrong.”

Trent’s eyes never wavered from my face as I purged myself of my sins.

“She wanted me to get an abortion,” I admitted, looking at the tiled floor. “I couldn’t do that, Trent. I couldn’t kill our baby.” Tears stung my eyes but I dammed them back. Tears were a sign of weakness, and the last thing I needed was to be vulnerable in front of him. “So, she suggested that she adopt the baby. I thought that was the best option.”

I took a moment to catch my breath, counting to ten in my head before I continued.

“I was so, so wrong,” I shook my head, wringing my fingers together. “Tristan doesn’t know I’m his mom.”

Mom.

I was his mom.

I hadn’t ever allowed myself to refer to myself as his mom before, but I was.

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