Page 5 of The Secrets We Keep

Landon must have noticed I was lost in my thoughts while cleaning up dinner.

“Is everything okay?” he asks.

“Ya, just daydreaming a bit. What movie did you bring?”

“Promise not to laugh?”

I giggle a little, “I promise.”

“I brought Forrest Gump. It’s one of my all time favorites.”

This time I do laugh, “It’s perfect!”

We start the movie and get comfy on the couch. I pull the throw over us. I feel Landon tense next to me but try not to dwell on it. It’s not overly cold. Just a slight chill. About halfway through the movie I feel myself fighting sleep and know it’s not long before I lose the battle.

I wake suddenly. My hands are clammy and my throat aches. Great, I’ve been screaming in my sleep again Oh my God, Landon. I open my eyes and the look on Landon’s face confirms it.

“What was that? Are you okay?” His voice laced with worry. I try to down play, “I’m fine. I must have had a nightmare.” My voice is weak. Great job with the down play. Something flashes in his eyes and I can’t place what it is.

“That was more than a nightmare.”

Shit, so much for him coming over for dinner and a movie. He’ll probably run for the hills after this. I squeeze my eyes shut.

“Really it was

nothing.” He has no clue how many nights I’ve cried myself to sleep or the countless times I have woken up screaming with tears streaming down my face because of the nightmares. I don’t want him to know. He’s only just witnessed this one episode. Maybe I can make something up. Before I can, he calmly says with lips pressed in a tight line,

“Don’t lie to me. I know you are hiding something. I can see it in the way your body is shaking. It’s written all over your face. I want you to let me in Evie”.

“No.” It’s barely a whisper. Landon goes to touch my face and I jump. I don’t mean to. It’s just the last hand to touch me was Chet. I’m broken. He violated me and now I no longer work right.

“I can’t do this, you need to go.” It’s still a whisper but he hears me.

“Don’t do this. I won’t hurt you, just talk to me.”

I sigh. I probably look as bad as I feel. Hoping to distract him, I reach up to grab his neck and pull him towards me. I’m shaking badly now and know it’s not helping me distract him. I try to lean in and kiss him, Landon is quick though. He leans back and pulls my hand free from around his neck.

“No.” He says firmly. His green eyes glare at me, almost piercing through me.

“I want to kiss you. Believe me I do. But not like this. Not when you are using it as an out. I won’t be used. When you are ready to talk, I’ll be waiting.”

With that he stands, gathers his keys and slides on his shoes. Landon doesn’t look back as he walks out my door.

The tears come fast as I slide down on the couch. I curl into a ball and at some point fall back asleep.

Days have gone by since Landon walked out of my condo. No texts, calls, zip. Part of me is relieved and part of me is sad. He was the first person I’ve been able to connect with in months and it looks like I’ve screwed that up. I decide to start laundry and put on my playlist to distract me from myself. Waiting On Superman by Daughtry comes on. The tears come. How do I still have tears left? Was Landon supposed to be my superman? Before I can talk myself out of it, I send him a quick text.

Sorry

A minute later a text comes through.

Nothing to be sorry for

That’s it? He sends nothing else for the rest of the day.

I arrive home Friday evening to find Landon standing at my door with a bouquet of flowers. I don’t know whether to look at the flowers or him. He’s dressed in denim jeans and a plain black tee. His chiseled arms on display for me with his hair a sexy mess.

“Hey you, what are you doing here?” I ask, smiling at him.

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