Page 28 of The Secrets We Keep

I’m trying to settle into Jessy’s spare room. It feels foreign, as if I’m lost at sea. My mind is all over. Eb and flow, pulling me back and forth. Maybe a hot soak in the tub will help ease my mind. I gather up what I need for the bathroom. Did I mention this was the only bathroom? No? It is. Jessy told me she didn’t mind sharing and I believe her. But still.

I toss in a bath bomb and let the water fill. The smell of lavender fills the air. The water is hot, as hot as I can possibly stand. I undress and look at myself in the mirror. I don’t recognize myself. The real me. Eleanor, the once confident beautiful woman. What I see back is a shell of who I was. I feel like a lost soul constantly looking for a part of who I used to be, yet hiding the real me. Suddenly feeling very self-conscious I wrap my arms around myself.

“It’ll all be okay.” I tell myself quietly then turn to climb in the tub.

The water is piping and makes me feel heated. Closing my eyes it’s as if my mind takes over and I think of Landon. I think of the way he smelled whenever we were together. His strong hands and how they gripped my hips. I picture his hands all over my body, his hands roaming over my breasts and squeezing my nipples, to them finding their way downward teasing me. I realize I’m touching my own nipples, lightly pinching them. I’ve never been one to really satisfy myself, besides the occasional date with my vibrator, but this feels good. It makes me feel tingly and a little naughty at the same time.

Deciding to explore more, I reach my left hand lower under the water and let my mind drift back to the man with the dark hair and green eyes. I let my fingers wander for a minute before I start to rub myself lightly. I imagine that it’s Landon doing the touching. His fingers gliding in and out of me keeping a rhythm with the pinching and pull of my nipples. The ache between my legs starts to build as I begin rubbing faster.

It doesn’t take long before I feel the build up. I need the release. I apply pressure as I feel myself come undone. I bite my lip to keep from calling out as my orgasm hits me like a tidal wave. I ride it out all the way to the shore, picturing the gorgeous man I’ve come to love.

After coming down from my blissful state, I realize the water is warm, no longer hot. It still feels relaxing though. I can’t believe I just did that in Jessy’s tub. Embarrassment fills me as I put my hands over my face. What am I doing? I let my mind wander back to Landon. Maybe I should hear him out.

“I’ve lied too, kind of… but for a good reason.” I whisper.

I wouldn’t say I’ve lied, just withheld the truth. As if that justifies the lies.

“Ugh!” I moan as I dunk myself lower in the tub covering my face briefly before deciding to get out.

I emerge from the bathroom wearing a fluffy mint colored robe that Jessy left on my bed earlier with a note, “To my roomie.” it read.

I know I’ve said this before but she really is the best.

As if on cue, “Feel better?” Jessy asks from somewhere. I’m not quite sure where because I don’t see her.

“Yes, a little bit. Also, thank you for the robe. It’s perfect.”

“You’re welcome.” Jessy replies back, still unseen.

Going into my room, I head for my cell and pull up Landon’s name. Before I can overthink what I’m about to do, I send a quick text:

I’d like to hear what you have to say.

I exhale and wait for his reply, hoping it’s not too late and that he’ll respond. After a few minutes of waiting I toss the phone on the bed and throw on some comfy clothes. I glance one more time at the screen before heading to see what Jessy’s up to.

After hanging in Jessy’s room for a bit, I decide to call it a night. I need sleep. Climbing into bed, I reach for my phone and see a text message from Landon.

Good, I’d like to fully explain. Can we meet tomorrow?

Tomorrow is fine. Where?

Is the park by the river okay?

Yes

Good

As I go to put my phone on the nightstand another text comes through. It’s another from Landon.

I can’t wait to see you Evie.

Well, I wasn’t expecting that.

Chapter 15

The moment I agreed to meet Landon, my nerves kicked it up a notch. Stay cool, I tell myself looking in the mirror. I shrug, giving myself the once over. I walk out of my room and hear the faint sound of music coming from down the hall. Coming up to Jessy’s door I knock once and enter.

“Hey Jess,” I pause before continuing. “Does my outfit look all right?”

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