There was a smattering of laughter in the audience. I took a deep breath to finish strong. “It’s also a reminder that we, as therapists, are not machines. We’re not just spouting textbook information. We take what we know and apply to the individual because we understand those same experiences, and I know that what I use to help Cindy wouldn’t help me.”
I could see the faint lines of disappointment in Joyce’s face. She may not’ve been the show for salacious gossip, but she was hoping for it today. Obviously when Brendan tipped her off, he made it known how easily it could destroy me.
Joyce murmured a few appropriate words and turned her attention to Cindy. As the interview wrapped up, I tried to temper my rage. When we finally took a break, I hugged Joyce like nothing horrible had just gone down and walked off the stage with my head held high. Stripping the microphone from my shirt, I plunked it down on the nearest table, grabbed my things, and headed straight for the exit.
“Jillian, wait,” Cindy gasped. “You can’t go out that way. There’ll be a ton of reporters waiting. There’s a hidden entrance this way. Come on.”
She grabbed my arm, and I let her lead me down a small hallway and out a side entrance. There was a car waiting for us, and she all but shoved me inside. As soon as the doors closed, she grabbed my hand. “I’m so sorry, Jillian. I had no idea about your baby, and I certainly didn’t think that Joyce would bring up your marriage. That was a horrible thing to do, and you can be sure that neither I nor any of my friends will be appearing on her show ever again.”
I took a deep shuddering breath. “Excuse me,” I muttered as I rummaged through my purse and pulled out my phone. “There’s something that I need to take care of.”
He answered on the second ring as though he’d been waiting for my call. “Jillian,” he said in a quiet voice. “I’m so glad you called.”
“You listen to me, you son of a bitch. I trusted you. I even let myself fall back in love with you. An hour ago, I was telling myself that I wanted to come back to you and be with you, and then you go and humiliate me on national television. It’s not bad enough that you bring up our marriage and try to ruin my career, but you also had to bring up our child! That’s low, Brendan, even for you. If you were expecting me to fall apart, you’re going to be very disappointed. I will not let this be the thing that ends me, but it is definitely the thing that ends us.” I took a deep, fortifying breath. “I want my divorce, Brendan, and I don’t care how loud or dirty you try to make it. All I want is to be rid of you once and for all, so you can keep your money and shove your threats right up your ass.”
Disgusted, I hung up on him, but I couldn’t stop trembling. Cindy reached over and grabbed my arm. “There’s champagne in here. I thought we might be celebrating, but it might be handy in this case too.”
“I can’t.” The tears were threatening to fall.
“Take your own advice, Jillian,” she said softly. “It’s okay to cry.”
And I did. I cried for the child that I’d loved and lost. I cried for the boy that I’d loved and the man who’d betrayed me. I cried for myself, for losing all those years to my grief, and I cried for the child inside of me who would be born to a mother and a father who simply couldn’t forgive each other.
CHAPTER TWENTY-SEVEN
Brendan
It had been a week since Jillian’s phone call. I couldn’t even begin to understand what she was accusing me of until I saw the taping of the show the next day. I wanted to drive my fist through the television and wrap my hands around that stupid host’s throat. You could practically see the glee in her eyes when she caught Jillian off guard. She’d wanted ratings, and she didn’t care who she destroyed in the process.
And Jillian clearly thought that I was capable of being the man who could do that to her.
A hollowness had settled in the pit of my stomach, and it stayed there for days. But when the calls started pouring in, first from Gordon wanting to know what I wanted him to do and then from different women in town offering me their sympathies for my upcoming divorce, the hollow turned into something old and familiar.
Bitterness.
I raged inside for days, and I threw myself into my work. I ran like a machine. Everyone kept their distance. Even Kim, who I expected to be at my throat, but I got nothing more than clipped greetings and to-the-point reports from everyone. Kim was gone when it came time for dinner, so I ate alone, showered, and went to bed.