Page 76 of Reason to Believe (White Lace 2)

“It’s cold.” He ran a hand across his beautiful hair with a sigh and took one step back, allowing me entry.

Thank you, Mother Nature.

I knew my way around, so I walked to the den at the back of the house. It was a movie lover’s haven. Three out of the four walls were lined with shelving units, full from top to bottom with DVD’s. I took my coat off and left it and my purse and the reusable green bag that contained his gift on one of the oversized armchairs.

He flopped onto the couch and I joined him on the opposite side, keeping my distance because I wasn’t sure just how this would go.

I wish he didn’t look so damn good. I wish he had bothered to put a shirt on. I wish I had any sort of control when it came to him.

But I didn’t.

Without even thinking, I launched myself at him, pressing my lips against his with a moan. I pulled him down by wrapping my arms around his neck. It made it easier for me to devour his mouth. And that’s exactly what I did. It took me a minute to realize that I was the only one participating. His lips barely moved and his hands remained at his sides. Had I overestimated my vagina?

He pushed me off him, forcing me back with both hands on my biceps and causing my grip around his neck to break. I was afraid to look into his eyes because I didn’t want to see anything but a go-ahead, nothing but desire.

“What are you doing here, Grace?”

I tensed. “I didn’t want to be alone.”

“Where’s Everly?”

His statement came as a surprise. He’d rather I seek out my best friend for comfort?

“I wanted to be with you.”

More than anyone else, even Everly. I looked up, right into the dark brown eyes that never seemed to stop telling me how he was feeling.

And right now he was in pain. I hoped like hell that my eyes were giving me away right now, because after all this time, I had fallen in love with Ben Lockwood. And if I had any hope of getting him to forgive me, he needed to see that.

But he wanted nothing to do with me. I deserved it. I had let him down. I’d deserted him when he’d needed me the most.

Tears stung my eyes and I couldn’t keep them from falling. I didn’t want to cry in front of him. I didn’t want to show my weakness. But the last twenty-four hours had been so overwhelming, and for Sadie’s sake I hadn’t shed one tear.

But seeing Ben now, so distant and aloof, it was too much to take.

“Hey, why are you crying?” He reached out, and for the first time since he’d opened the door, there was a tenderness on his face. A sympathetic tone to his voice. His fingers grabbed my chin and tilted my head back so that I could look into his eyes.

Tears continued to stream down my face and it felt like they would never stop. I saw the pain in his eyes along with anger…and desire. He was conflicted.

And just before I was about to speak, he smashed his mouth to mine, wrecking me with a kiss so hot it almost melted my clothes off.

My phone buzzed in my bag and I pulled away, vaulting across the room to the chair and rummaging around my bag. When I’d confirmed the buzz wasn’t about Sadie, I looked back at Ben, but the man who had been kissing me had disappeared, his eyes had grown dark and distant.

He looked down at the phone in my hand and I realized what was going on in his mind. Just like it probably had yesterday when I’d looked at my phone and walked away.

I choked back a sob. “After all this time, you still don’t trust me.”

“You walked away,” he whispered the saddest four words I’d ever heard.

Ben Lockwood knew the real me, but despite accepting my past, he was still suspicious. And what hope did that give me for my future love life?

The only way I could move on was with a man who didn’t know Jade, a man who couldn’t draw the parallel between me and my alter ego. Ben was a constant reminder of my past, one foot still in the door of the life I wanted to leave behind.

“I’m sorry. I had to. I…you know I would have stayed if I could.”

“You walked away.” He glared from his seat on the couch.

“This is how it’s going to be?” I returned to my seat, turning my body so that I was facing him. “You’re always going to think I’m playing a game. Every time I tell you I like you or that I like what you’re doing to me.” I swallowed down my fear. “Every time I tell you that I love you…” His head shot up and our eyes locked. “You won’t believe me, because—”

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