Page 73 of Reason to Believe (White Lace 2)

“Working in porn, most people think it’s amusing. A lot of people think it’s disgusting. Immoral. Unethical. Dirty. But really, it’s just a business. Stereotypes are a nasty thing, and most of you had pigeonholed me as soon as I walked into the room. But let me tell you, whatever stereotypes you have about me, or this business, get rid of them. They will not serve you well.”

I looked over at Professor Hughes. She smiled, a tiny twinkle of something in her eye, like she was proud of me.

“But enough about me. I came here to answer your questions. How about it?”

A male lifted his hand in the middle of the room and despite my good intentions, my stomach twisted. What would it be this time? Child abuse? Exploitation? Sexually transmitted diseases?

“How are sites like Pornhub affecting your bottom line? Do you think free online porn is going to bankrupt the industry?”

Immediately, my eyes found Max, who chuckled and shook his head in the back of the classroom. An insightful question. A real question.

“It’s definitely changed the game. Actors are making lower wages. Companies are having to cut costs, shoot fewer feature films. But bankrupt? No. It’s about being adaptable. There are still millions of people who prefer to get their porn right from the source, and our online membership has doubled over the last five years.”

Boom. Nailed it.

“How do you feel about individual porn stars branching out and creating their own websites, with memberships of their own?”

“The better a star can brand themselves, the more money everyone makes. Large corporations have to worry about their bottom line. Individuals can go all-in on themselves. They can take chances that companies like White Lace can’t. If it pays off, everyone wins.”

Question after question was asked, all of them poignant and well thought out. At one point, I looked over at Cory, who just shrugged, flashing me a goofy grin. I couldn’t help but wonder if he had anything to do with the caliber of questions.

Before I knew it, Professor Hughes was calling time. I had filled an entire hour. But before she sidled me off the podium, I wanted to say one last thing.

“So hopefully one of you filmed this and will put it on YouTube, because if there is one thing I can say to you, if there is one thing I’ve learned, it has nothing to do with being a director. Be yourself, and that will shine through in your film. It will shine through in everything you do.”

This time I got applause as I walked away from the podium.

My chest swelled.

Professor Hughes held out her hand and I shook it. I had impressed her. That nervous crook to her mouth was now gone and had turned into a full-blown smile.

I had done it. And I’d stayed true to myself. I had done it, without Grace.

I wasn’t sure where we were going from here. We still had to see each other, because our best friends were in love. But now that this session was over, we had no reason to interact. And it was for the best. I’d gotten caught up in her promises. Shame on me.

She’d walked out. Walked away from me, just as I’d feared. At least now I knew where I stood, in exactly the same spot I’d been before we started this game.

Alone. With no expectations.

And from where I was standing, it was the safest place to be.

Chapter 21

Grace

Sirens played in the background, like a soundtrack to my entrance into the hospital.

Just like the lights of the siren sitting in front of the emergency room entrance, my head spun. I had gotten into my car and driven here in a fog. Knowing where I needed to go, but unable to remember exactly how I’d gotten here.

I didn’t usually answer my phone when random numbers showed on the display, but it felt off. In my gut, I’d known something was wrong.

And I had been right.

I raced inside, my head and heart battling with each other. I felt awful leaving Ben. But knowing Sadie was in the hospital, that she had been the victim of an attack by a client, there was nowhere else I could be.

I had shot him a quick text the first chance I got when I’d hit a red light, but it was vague. Sadie would want me to be discreet. I knew I was going to have to make up for this in a big way given everything I’d learned about Ben over the last few weeks, and I couldn’t imagine what might be going on in his head when all he had to go on was the sight of me walking away and the flimsy excuse I had sent in a text.

The nurse was on the phone when I approached the glass, but despite her not paying attention, I couldn’t help my friend’s name from spewing out my mouth. “Sadie Spencer.” I might have even barged my way to the front of a line that wasn’t really a line, but I didn’t care. My friend was hurt and I had to get to her.

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