Page 43 of Reason to Believe (White Lace 2)

“Especially when you’re filming an intimate scene, whether it’s explicit porn or not, getting the characters right is what’s most important.”

I took a deep breath. That hadn’t been so bad.

Someone’s hand shot up.

Thank fuck.

I pointed at the female student with raven hair, and piercings in her nose and lip as she stood. “Do you have sex with every girl that auditions for you?” she asked.

I shook my head. “I don’t test the merchandise, if that’s what you’re asking.”

“Have you ever been in a film?” she continued without giving anyone else an opportunity to ask a question.

I nodded. “Yes.” I wasn’t ashamed of what I’d done, but I knew in the long run, it was only going to make it harder for people to take me seriously. “Early in my career I did several POV scenes—you know, the scenes where you don’t see the man’s face?”

The girl beside her stood up and asked, “Have you ever gotten an STD?”

“No. And as for the company, our actors are required to get tested every month. It’s a company policy.”

It was one of the jobs that didn’t fall on my shoulders. Barbara, my assistant, was responsible for collecting and reviewing the test results.

The questions from the audience were getting more pointed by the minute and I was afraid to acknowledge the blond girl sitting on the end of the third row. But that’s what I was here for. To answer questions truthfully about working in the porn industry.

The girl stood, a sweet smile on her face. “Were you sexually abused as a child? Is that why you work in porn?”

“I…What?” I stared at her in disbelief. Her smile might be sweet, but her question was less than sugary. I glanced over at Cory, who shrugged at me.

“Next question, please,” Professor Hughes said. “That’s not an appropriate topic of discussion.”

Three more hands shot up and the knot that had already been coiled in my stomach tightened even more. I was starting to sweat and thankful that I’d decided to wear a T-shirt underneath my button-down white shirt.

This session had taken a turn for the worse. Even Cory knew it, because he was huddled in his seat, his hand covering half his face. The kid, the one who chose to intern with a porn company, was embarrassed at how this was playing out.

There were several hands up in the crowd, but I chose the guy who wore khaki pants and a golf shirt. “How do you live with yourself knowing that you make your money by exploiting women?”

“I assure you that everything we do at White Lace is ethical. No one works who doesn’t want to be there. No one is forced into anything.”

I decided to steal a glance at Grace, who was running her hand underneath her chin in an attempt to get me to abort the discussion of ethics.

So I did. I took another question.

“Do you really think you can have a family and live a normal life?”

Were these kids mind readers? It was like they could see into the depths of my soul and read all of the deep-seated questions I had kept buried, afraid of discovering the answers.

Luckily, I didn’t get the chance to respond to the last one, not that I easily could.

Professor Hughes stepped up and joined me at the podium. She spoke into the microphone, “I think that’s enough for tonight. Thank you all. I’ll see you next class.” She turned off the microphone and gave me sympathetic look.

If I was a crier, this would have been the moment I broke down. I had come in here terrified but optimistic that I could somehow prove I was a professional. But the porn industry didn’t leave much to prove. I was discounted even before I opened my mouth.

The students filed out of the room on their own time, and when I glanced down at my watch I realized the whole thing had only lasted twenty minutes.

The complete annihilation of my existence had only taken twenty fucking minutes.

“I’m sorry, Mr. Lockwood, I thought it best to end things. The session went a little off the rails. I had no idea that—”

I stopped her with a shake of my head. “I shouldn’t have expected anything else.”

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